Okay, so I know that I have already blogged like a zillion times in the last few days, can you tell I am procrastinating? Right now the task at hand is finishing the painting of Loiusa's new room. And so far, in the last month painting just is not going my way and I currently have my britches in a wad because the pink will take 2 coats and I feel the same way about a second coat as I do about priming. Plus, I still have trim to paint and I am just over it all right now. My get-up-and-go is gone, and I really have no motivation right now to find it.
So, instead I will blog again. Get excited. I did feel the need to look at the year in review. It seems to me that this year just started yesterday. I guess spending the majority of my time in front of my sewing machines makes it seem that way. I mean, I am pretty sure it was a good year - I don't have many bad thoughts about it, I am sure things weren't always perfect throughout the year...but then again, aren't all years like that? And also, I like to think of life as a journey. It can't always be smooth roads and boring interstate. Lately I have realized that I prefer to travel those small, bumpy country roads that allow you to relax and not worry about being crushed by an 18-wheeler that is texting while driving 95 mph. Those roads always lead to the neatest of places, not perfect places...but none-the-less interesting. Ramble, ramble, ramble. Let's cut to the chase. Since I couldn't think of one single thing to wrap up the year, I decided to point out all the things that made 2009 a good journey for me.
- I fought my fears and became a stay-at-home Mom. This was quite possibly one of the biggest adjustments to our family, and although I miss being a nurse - I know that this way by far one of the best decisions I could have ever made. I only wish that all mothers could have the opportunity to stay with their children. It is NOT an easy job. In fact, there are days that I would love to put my scrubs on and go to work knowing that eventhough nursing is stressful and hard....I can leave it at shift change. You don't get shift-changes as a Mom. The closest I come to shift changes are when I walk outside and scream my head off and get strange looks from the neighbors or people driving down the street, but it is my moment. And as I have said before, there IS a method to my madness.
- I went out on a limb and became a small-business owner. This defied my own pre-set limitations and has proven to be that "identity" that I thought I would lose when becoming a stay-at-home Mom. It provides me an outlet, and a VERY small amount of change in the pockets so that Louisa and I can enjoy ourselves without me "going" to work. Don't get me wrong, for anyone that owns their own business, just as I said before...you don't get to clock out.
- Louisa developed her personality. I guess it has always been there, but she is now fully able to express it all, bless her. She is quite the spit-fire, drama queen most animated 2 year-old that I know. She challenges me on a daily basis, and sometimes I fail. But she doesn't mind, she thinks I am the best. :)
- I learned that I am not always a good mother. I had set high expectations of myself as a Mom when I was pregnant. I just never envisioned it being this difficult. I wish that I was the perfect Mom, but then again...does that person exist?
- I came to terms with me. I am who I am. There are some traits about me (my inner control-freak, my OCD, my inability to accept change, etc) that I may not like, but if changed, I change as a person. So, I learned to love the quarkiness. Embrace it. Living with yourself is hard sometimes, but if you learn to go with it...it makes it a tad easier.
- Strangely enough, for me, it is very therapeutic to pour my heart out to the public on the internet and have complete strangers that I think of as my internet friends soothe your soul. Thank you to all of my internet buddies, I hope to one day meet you all!
- I already knew this...but confirmed it in the last year. Best friends really CAN have 4 legs, a wagging tail and a wet nose.
- Speaking of best friends, I have found that life is easier with them. Thankfully I have some of the most awesome set of girl-friends here in Mississippi that make my life all the easier. I couldn't make it here without them.
- My husband became a 3rd year resident. What a huge accomplishment, not just being a 3rd year...but the journey that he has embarked on since the moment he decided to become a doctor just amazes me. Then again, I always say that he NEVER ceases to amaze me, and he really doesn't. He is the smartest person that I know (aside from me, haha...just kidding - I was getting too serious for a while) and I am so thankful that he does what he does. I am also so thankful that he supports me in who I am. In marriage, that is huge. The best part of him being a 3rd year...is that this December marks our half-way point here in MS. Yippee....I can just hear the pine trees back in GA calling my name.
- I learned that sometimes, whether you like it or not, the people you count on can let you down and disappoint you. I think this is one of those things that makes being an adult so difficult.
- I witnessed countless friends finding out they are expecting. Some of these were people who had been waiting, and even though it is always a blessing, it just gives me the chills when dear friends get what they have been waiting so patiently for. What a fun time in our lives.
- I learned to lay sod. Simple as it sounds, I guess I can add it to the resume.
- I learned that yes, I do have limits. And although I may not want to...it is best to stick with them.
- I learned that no good deed goes unpunished.
- I learned to be careful what you wish for. These last 2 are pieces of advice that came from a very wise person, and he would tell me both of these almost on a daily basis. He is right, as he usually is...but I find that since I no longer get to grace his presence daily and he doesn't get to remind me - I have to learn the hard way.
- But most of all, in this last year (and gladly it was sooner rather than later...although later than I would have liked, but is that the truth or just the control-freak talking) that family comes FIRST. Always. No matter what.
Until next year...