Friday, February 26, 2010

Move on Over Sammy Davis, Jr.

Okay, so first of all....yes another post. Can you tell I am procrastinating? If you admit it, it isn't bad. At least that is how I roll.

Today while killing some time in the thrift store (that is right next to the fabric store that I tend to live in) before we met Byron for lunch I had a momentary lack of oxygen to the brain. It happens, just more lately for some reason. But, Louisa picked a pair of tap shoes and HAD.TO.HAVE.THEM. And by this I mean that anyone in a few city blocks could hear her squeal in delight when she saw them and plopped down on the floor, threw off her shoes and found that "des fit me Mommy. Jus perfeckly. Ohhhh, can I habs dem?" I mean, oh the excitement. I cringed as I looked at them and somehow was able to block from my brain what was going to occur at the house when she had them. But, they were half off and I used them as bait. "Sure Lou, I just need you to be sweet in here and listen to Mommy and you can have them." "Oh boys, oh boys, oh boys. Mommy says I can hab dems. Oh my gosh, dis is da best eber. I luvs dem." And throughout the store she held them, showed them with pride to anyone that would look and talked to them the whole time. At one time (since I just kinda tune her out at some points) I looked up to see two ladies giggling and pointing at her and I turned to see what she was up to. She had the shoes in her hand and was almost petting them and telling them, "and yous gonna bes my shoes. Ima gonna be da best tap tapper when I haves you. Oh I can wait!" She is such an actress.

Well, I continued to use them as bait throughout the day and told her she had to take a good nap with no whining and fussing and carrying on like a baby. This tends to be her habit lately and I just cannot STAND the whining. It literally makes me cuckoo. Well, first thing up from her nap I swear she leaped out of bed and made it to my sewing room in record time and said, "oooooooooh Mommy don I get my tap shoes now? I was a reaw sweet girls and I wistened to you and I was a big girl and I was sweet." So, we go and get the shoes and the whole time I was just relishing in her excitement. She gets so excited over things and it just melts my heart! I had to snap some shots. She was loving it and thankfully, oh so thankfully.....the shoes aren't NEARLY as loud and obnoxious on the hardwoods. Ask me again in a week or so and you may get another answer. She has already asked me if she can take them to school and "show alls her frewnds." So cute. And for those that read the last post or are friends on Facebook....yes, she is feeling better. We dealt with fever a few more times yesterday and she threw-up right before her nap, but she is fine now. As for the throwing-up, get this, she told me it was because I gave her "a nasty wunch dat was so gross it mades me frow-up. Ewwww." Well, I had the same turkey sandwich and was just fine so spare me drama queen. Byron and I laugh, even though I don't find it funny how she always seems to "save the drama for her mama." :)

Until next time....

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Oh How the Times Have Changed

Long nights. Oh how the definition of what I consider this to be has changed. Rewind back 7-8 years (wow, it really has been that long) to college and a setting in the much-loved Athens, Ga. Here I was, a student at UGA living it up and having the best time. For those unfortunate enough to have never been to Athens, GO. NOW. But really, it is an amazing town. It doesn’t hold the beauty of my hometown Savannah, Ga….but it is beautiful in a whole other way. The culture, the restaurants, the nightlife with streets filled with bar after bar….and the BEST part, the music. Oh my gosh, the music. Which brings me to the point of this post, long nights. You remember college, waking up and rolling over in the bed only to realize that you are slightly spinning, slowly walking downstairs to grab any sort of liquid in the refrigerator to soothe your dry mouth all the while hearing your heartbeat in your ears and having your eyes pound. Then, you see it. The evidence of a long night. The beer cans stacked up, the wine and liquor bottles, evidence of a “late night at my house.” Something I loved all too much back in the day. Funny how things change, because just the mere thought of that sight to me today makes me cringe. I cannot even fathom a hangover. There is a time and a place, and Athens, Ga. was quite the place.

Now, present time. This is what the evidence of a long night now looks like to me.

Sad, in a number of ways. Let’s just talk about fever. Fever is that thing that sneaks uninvited into your baby’s room at night and turns their world upside down. It always comes in the wee hours, because it is sneaky like that. Upon one of the times going into Lou’s room last night when she was crying I could almost feel the heat radiating off of her when I walked in the door. So, first things first…..go and grab the “pink motrin” (my drug of choice) the teaspoon and note the time on the clock. Change her out of her pj’s since she is sweating bullets and lay down with her in the bed as she sweetly says, “Mommy, pwease don weave my beds, otay?” Not in a million years. However, lying next to a febrile child in a twin bed isn’t the most fun. I ended up sweating and being kicked and having all of the orifices on my face poked and such. But I wouldn’t “weave her.” Well, this started around midnight. As the “pink motrin” didn’t seem to do the trick, I added in the Tylenol. As a nurse, it used to chap my rear-end to no extent when a mom would call me and tell me their child had fever, but they didn’t know what it was since they didn’t check it. But I get it. I don’t have to grab the thermometer. When my child is sweating, red-cheeked, shaking and confused with both Tylenol and Motrin on board the amount of the fever matters none to me. So, until about 8 this morning, I alternated the two and gave her water and patted her sweaty head and finally saw the fever break. Is it weird that I feel victorious when I break a fever? I think it is the nurse in me, but I just think, “Haha stupid fever. Take that. See who’s boss?” Yes, I am a bit on the nerdy side, but whatev. She is resting on the couch right now indulging in some cartoons while I try and get as much caffeine in my system as possible to face the rest of the day. And, sadly as I just walked over to her to refill her water, I see the red cheeks are back, and so are the sweats. I place my hand on her forehead and realize that afore-mentioned fever apparently didn’t get the message. So, off to grab the Tylenol and hope I can find another bottle of Motrin so I don’t have to leave to go grab more since we drained the bottle last night.

We’ve had a rough go at our house as of late. I think it is just all the seasonal hoop-la but I cannot even begin to tell you how ready I am for the warm weather to come and kick out all the germs and bring the flowers and the pollen and all that fun stuff that messes with everyone’s allergies. I know that Lou is ready for it too. Cabin fever is atrocious and out of control at our house right now. I have it, the doggies have it bad and Lou has it too. So, winter….it’s been real, but your time has come and gone. We are in the South for goodness sakes, get on with it.

Until next time…

Monday, February 22, 2010

Diary of a Mom of a Child with a Sleep Disorder

Dear diary,

I am tired. I am so tired. I have forgotten what it is like to sleep from the moment that I lay down at night until the moment that I wake up in the morning. I have no clue what it means anymore to get a good-night’s sleep. I am tired. So tired.

On another note, my heart is broken. While I am tired and sleepy and sometimes grumpy, I am the lucky one in this situation. My sweet, tow-headed toddler has NO IDEA what it is like to go to sleep at night and not have nightmares. This rips my heart straight out of my chest and throws it on the floor and it is stomped on. I am so sad that each and every night she cries out in terror and there is not a thing that I can do. I wish I could make it all go away, selfishly so that I can get back to sleeping, but most importantly so that she no longer has to fear her sleep.

So diary, I am tired. We are tired. She doesn’t deserve this.


For those of you newly on board here at the Norris family journey, Louisa has a sleep disorder. It is termed “disorder of arousal” and is defined as:
Arousal disorders are parasomnia disorders presumed to be due to an abnormal arousal mechanism. Forced arousal from sleep can induce episodes. The "classical" arousal disorders are sleepwalking (somnambulism), sleep terrors and confusional arousals. These arousals occur when a person is in a mixed state of being both asleep and awake, generally coming from the deepest stage of non-dreaming sleep. This means a person is awake enough to act out complex behaviors but still asleep and not aware or able to remember these actions.
Thanks Wikipedia for the lesson today. I just wish it wasn’t a lesson that we knew by heart here. I have blogged about it numerous times before, interested? Check them out from the get-go. Okay, so after I put them all together, I realized there are a lot, so if you want to venture out and learn all about living with a child that has a sleep disorder....grab a cup of coffee or some wine (it is always 5 o'clock somewhere) since we all know how wordy I tend to be).

Sorry to be a downer for some, but last night was just such a bad night that I just had to get it out there. This blog is therapy for me in some warped way and I just needed to vent. I really don’t like to talk about it much anymore because people just don’t understand. And rightfully so, no one should have to understand this. It is dreadful, especially when it happens to your child. I get so fed-up each and every time that someone says, “Oh that isn’t better yet?” or “Isn’t there something that you can do?” If there was something that could be done, I think we would’ve taken care of that 2 years ago. But there isn’t, instead I have to lie in bed at night and listen to my child scream bloody murder in the next room knowing that if I go in there to console her it will be 10 times worse since she isn’t really awake. The doctors tell you that the worst thing you can do is try to wake them.

Her sleep exists almost in phases. She will go for about 1-2 weeks (recently she had a stretch of like 3 weeks) in which it is bad, bad. This means that I am going into her room on average 3 times a night to make sure she isn’t scratching herself, falling out of bed, in danger, etc and an average of 6-7 times a night that I lie in bed and listen to her scream out. Then she has a week or so of good sleep. From the looks of the last few nights, we’ve got a mighty-fine stretch ahead of us now. But do you know that you would NEVER imagine that my child had this if you saw her on a daily basis? I wish that I could be as resilient as she. One would never know that she didn’t sleep well. It sure doesn’t stop her. She is amazing, and I love her.

Until next time…as I tell her nightly, no more bad dreams, only princess dreams.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Nothing but a Chicken Wing...

Here sits my child, with her feet propped up on the table happy as a bug in a rug eating a chicken leg. I mean really, happy as can be. And I love her for this, and I also envy her. Before I gross out my mom & sisters over thinking that I want to eat chicken off the bone (confused….well, my mom & my 2 sisters and I have this weird thing about eating meat off a bone, it grosses us out and therefore we avoid it at all costs and it really grosses me out to watch Lou enjoy it so much. Barfaroni) it is not the chicken leg I am envious of. Instead, it is the happy-go-lucky attitude that she emits. Well, she doesn’t always seem happy go lucky since we have somehow skipped all the years between 3 and 12 for the drama since she reacts like a teenage girl – but I am secretly wishing that since she is so dramatic now that her teenage years will be a breeze. Did you just choke on your coffee? Because I did. A girl can dream, right?

Well, here sits happy-go-lucky Lula, and here sits Momma who can only be described as a grumpy old troll or even Oscar the grouch. I mean, I have been in the funkiest kinds of moods lately. I just don’t feel myself. I am contributing it to the sickness that grabbed a hold of me 2 weeks ago and just has not let go. I mean, overall I feel a WHOLE lot better than I was, but I just still don’t feel right. Does that make sense? It is like I still have snot-head fog and it just is making me grumpy. The weather sure doesn’t help either. I think I might poke out my own eyeballs if it rains again any time soon. I mean, I wont really…especially since I just saw it is supposed to rain all night tonight, but my goodness. If you want one word to describe me, FOUL. It also chaps my rear-end in that all free time that my husband has right now (which isn’t much) he sits in front of books studying for this stupid annual test that residents have to take that for some reason the ENT department takes way more seriously than anyone else. Blehhhhh.

Anyways, before I put anyone else into a funk too, I will get off the blog. This picture of Murray just sums it all up. She cracks me up. She is a typical cat in that she sleeps all day (I mean, all day) and is crazy at night – but I LOVE when she sleeps like this. It is just too cute.

Until next time....

Monday, February 15, 2010


Valentine’s Day. You either love it or you hate it. Here at the Norris house, we don’t really love or hate, we just don’t celebrate. It is just one of those holidays that I think is stupid. I’m not really romantic and don’t like all the red and pink and roses and goob and such. And, if my husband ever brought me home one of those heinous pieces of jewelry that the jewelry stores advertise around the holiday I think I would croak. However, when you have a little one, you kinda have to do something. This year was hard though since I was sick as stink and literally couldn’t move to do anything. Now, unfortunately as I type Byron is laid up on the couch with fever. Yippee, stinks for him because he doesn’t get sick days. Nope, he will have to show up at the hospital no matter how sick he is. Makes you want to go in and be operated on, doesn’t it. Well, I do remember one time he got to call in while he was on a general surgery rotation his intern year – but I think a lot of that had to do with the fact I couldn’t peel him off the bathroom floor, and the resident he was working with helped to get me seen ASAP in the ER the night before with the same thing. So, steer clear of the ENT department tomorrow unless you want the awful crud that has crushed our house as of late. Oh, and by the way, the opening picture....we all know Louisa dresses herself. This was her outfit today. She was so proud of herself, so I guess I should say....get used to it since it might make it's debut more than I would like. Picking those battles.....

Back to Valentines, Louisa and I sat down on Wednesday to get Valentines ready for her school. It was so fun because as I would ask her which card she wanted to give to what kid she made sure to tell me all the “stories” on that particular kid. I learned all kinds of goods on the kids in her class, and when I asked her what kinds of things she did at school, she looked up at me and I swear she batted her eyes and said, “ohhh nuffing Mommy. Nuffing at all.” I am so sure. Probably how it is is that all the stories she told on other kids were probably committed by hers truly. :) Here are just some fun pics of the “confessional” and putting together of the Valentines. Oh, and trying to get a cute Valentines picture. Thank goodness for digital cameras!

On a different note, I had some help in the kitchen today which is always a good time. The ONLY thing I like about being sick is when you get better, the way your appetite comes back instantly with a vengeance. I mean, you cannot put enough things in your mouth at once! So, I decided since we had 11 bananas in the house (not kidding) I would make some banana pudding. Looks divine…..well, it sure was!

Until next time....

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Who's That Girl?

Okay, so I just Facebooked (is that even a verb?) about how I honestly think I could have won the award for the biggest troll in the carpool line at St. James this morning, and then I walked by a mirror and was so humiliated that I went out in public that I though I would procrastinate a little sewing this morning to blog about something that many moms face.

Letting yourself go.

I said I would never do it. A very wise pediatrician once (well, every other day) told me “Never say never, and never say always.” Good point Dr. Smith. But, it happens. And it happens to the best of us. Let me just break it down for the last 2 days. Yesterday I had planned a sew-a-thon, when in all actuality I didn’t get to sit down to my machines until noon, but that is beside the point. On sew-a-thon days I tend to let Lou do what she pleases, with limits people….don’t go shaking those fingers. Well, she wanted to stay in her pj’s. I felt there was nothing wrong with this, so I let it go. Then, I ran out of snaps for a project I was about to be working on, so needed to run to the local sewing shop. I told Lou that she could stay in her pj’s if she stayed in the car. This shop is one that I can pull up to the front and be in and out in literally a minute, so once again…no finger shaking. She thought that was “a gweat ideas Mom.” Well, I left the house in what I was wearing. My running shorts (ironically the same ones I was wearing the night I was pantsed at the grocery) and an old sorority t-shirt since I had just finished exercising. Never mind that it was only 30 degrees outside and I had sweaty hair and splotchy face and mascara halfway down my face from the day before. Mistake numero uno. Well, we get to Continental and of course Lou throws an all-out fit to have to come into the store. Since she was wearing footed j’s I told her that I would have to carry her and she was not allowed to play that it was going to be a quick trip. So, we ventured into the store with my child still in her pajamas and me in my sweaty-summer attire. Enter sweet, sweet Murphy’s Law. I see people I know. I run into Tori, but I am not worried about this one….she is a great friend and will still love me anyways and probably understands since she has a little one Lou’s age as well. Then, I run into a customer. And on the way out, I run to Fred’s to grab some much-needed Diet Coke and I run into an old patient of mine. Lovely day. I am feeling so wonderful (I would say 2 feet tall….but I am not much over that on a good day, haha) that I have seen people that I know while I am looking my best. Not to mention I haven’t shaved my exposed, super-white legs in a few weeks. My poor, sweet husband still loves me anyways. So, in the car on the way home I promised myself that I would learn from that experience.

The next day. Today. Louisa’s school has a carpool line which is just about the most fantabulous thing ever. You don’t have to get in and out of the car in the mornings when you drop her off, it is wonderful. Well, this morning….let me just tell you about the site for sore eyes (or site that made sore eyes) that I was. I haven’t showered since Tuesday (I fully plan to go there when I am done blogging since I have to appear in public later today) PLUS I have exercised twice since that shower (lots of grease and sweet and ewwww). So, I decide that if I brush my hair it will look greasier than if I don’t, so I pull it up higher and tighter in my signature pony. Then, I add a sweet little clip to the front to keep my greasy bangs off my face. Then, I upgrade slightly from the flannel plaid pj’s that I am wearing (the same ones the Byron commented last night when I put them on, “wow, those are some attractive pajamas.” Bless my poor, sweet husband) by putting on a pair of sweats that I paint in, leaving on my pajama tap…foregoing the bra since I am only going around the corner and throw a fleece over the top. Throw on my tennis shoes and brush my teeth and get ready to go. As I am sitting in carpool line, I get mortified by my own self. Who is this girl sitting in the driver’s seat of my Remy (my car, if you haven’t noticed I name almost everything that I own)? I am not sure who is this face staring back at me in the rear-view mirror. When did this happen? So, I feel obligated to tell the girl that comes to my car for me to sign Louisa in that I am a troll this morning and obviously am a bit scary looking. She just laughs, but I know what she is thinking. Well, I tell myself I am going to get home and shower and put on makeup and curl my hair, etc. Then the unthinkable occurs (mind you, I am literally a block or two from my house) I see blue lights in my rear-view. Murphy’s Law can pretty much go to you-know-where for me right now. I am not a speeder (in fact, Byron describes my driving as inefficient) so I am not quite sure why I am being pulled over, but am so embarrassed that someone else is going to see me like this. So, I pull over, and I roll down my window and pass on the attempts of trying to smooth my hair over or show cleavage (which is not going to happen since there is no brassiere and I have breast fed before….moms out there, you get my drift) since there is no helping me now. Well, very positive experience which could have gone south. The cop is super nice and asks me if I know that my tag is expired. But WAIT, I know and it isn’t. The sticker is in my purse and I just haven’t put it on my tag yet since it rains every freaking day in this town. I told the cop all this and I honestly think I saw pity in his eyes. He told me that was fine but in order to avoid giving me a ticket, he needed me to put it on my tag that instant. Cringe….so now I must get OUT of the car in my ensemble to affix a silly $600 sticker on my car on Old Canton Road for everyone on their way to work to see. Humiliated. Mortified and feeling like my self esteem is crumbled.

Ironically, I have my own semi-fashion line. One never would’ve guessed, right? Although I may know everything and the kitchen sink about kids fashion….maybe I might need to focus on some adult fashion. I wish I had some extra money that I could spruce up my wardrobe so that I am not wearing the same shirt that I have had for almost 6 years. Or maybe get a spray tan so I am not as scary. Or have my hair cut since it has been quite some time. Do you other mom’s ever get this way? I mean, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but looks like I might need to spend some time on me. For my poor, sweet husband’s sake. Thankfully I love exercise, so I feel good about the actual “me” but looks like the accessories need some help. So, if any of you out there have these moments, I want to post a pic for you to know that you are not alone. Also, I think I need a reminder myself the Murphy is going to get me, and if I look like this….I am just openly inviting him. I spared you all the actual face, I just couldn’t do that.

The mascara is still there, but now it is 2 days old and smeared a bit more. But I will give you a nice shot of the greasy scalp. Excuse the fingerprints on the mirror - we just don't clean those in our house, remember my confessions of a bad housekeeper. :) Off to the shower. I might even get crazy and shave my legs.

Until next time...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Sewing Seeds for Haiti

Okay, so this blog post will carry a serious tone…..since sometimes I can be taken seriously.

We all know about the recent horrific devastation in Haiti. I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes when faced with a tragedy of such great deal like this one, I just kind of shut down. I cannot look at the pictures of the devastation, mostly for fear of the sadness and loss that I see in the pictures of the people and the children. Mostly the children, and the animals. Goodness knows I have such a HUGE part in my heart for the animals. But then the guilt sets in and I realize I need to be grown up about this and put on my big girl panties and realize that I am not above any of this. Something to this nature could happen to me (or any of us for that reason) and I would want to know that complete strangers out there would want to help me, or at least feel some compassion and hurt for me as well. I know that not everyone takes the “easy” way out and turns their heads. So, when I clicked on one of my favorite blogs the other week and saw that there was something that I could do to help, it just felt right. Meet Randi, she is wonderful and has one of my favorite Etsy fabric stores (Fresh Squeezed Fabrics) and she hosts a project known as Sewing Seeds. She calls to all of us tailors out there when there is a need somewhere and she organizes and puts together a sort of clothing drive for the children in need. Did I tell you that I think she is wonderful? Well, I signed up and got excited and decided that I wanted to post this for all of my readers out there. Here is a direct link to the post with all the info regarding this Sewing Seeds project. Most importantly, the deadline for all skirts is March 5th.

She has included tutorials for skirts on her site, but let me just say……skirts are easy. You can make it as simple as a hem, a side seam and a waistband if you want. So, please….if this is somehow speaking to you and you want to get involved, please email me at and write “Sewing Seeds” in the subject line. Since she has requested knee-length skirts, what I plan to do is make skirts in Louisa’s size and make sure they are long enough. I had wanted to do almost like a “party” in which everyone gathered here and we could have snacks and sew these much-needed skirts, but I just couldn’t seem to get everything together. I also have no idea where I could put a bunch of people in my house with needs for electrical outlets. I thought about the garage, but it doesn’t seem to want to warm up anytime soon, so that might be a disaster….and with the electrical “issues” in our house, I am afraid we would have to turn off all lights and unplug everything but the refrigerator to be able to power all the machines.

Just let me know, and feel free to pass this along!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Days of Our Lives

There was a time in my life when I was a bit on the wild side. I had a great time, stayed out too late, craved the craziness of life and loved the center of attention, drank too much, said bad words (well, I am still living it up in this aspect), partied too hard, lived for the drama, etc. As I said, there was a time when this was my life, and it was high school and college. Before you go placing judgment, I was also an excellent student. I graduated salutatorian from my high school and had a 3.6 GPA in college. So, I knew my limits. Then, there came a day that I sat there (probably bitten by the hair of the dog from the night before) when I decided I was done with the craziness and action and drama and hoop-la. I wanted quiet. I was done with the rest. I had a good time, but it was now time for a new chapter. Being a grown-up. And I did this. And I liked it. And it was my new life. Up until the moment I birthed my first child. Little did I know she would crave the wildness and action and attention and all that hoop-la. I can honestly say there is NEVER a dull moment. EVER. She is so spunky and full of life and character I just don’t know what to do with her, other than laugh and dread the teenage years. I am just going to share with you a few snippets of this week. I have already topped you off at the start of the week with some select convos with the chatterbox, but this time…..I will go out in public.

• In Hobby Lobby. The other day and of course, you guessed it….she is running her mouth the entire time. Wherever we are in public, people giggle at her and point at her and talk about her chatter. It just happens. She puts on a show all the time. It is hard for me, because I no longer crave that center of attention, in fact….please don’t even acknowledge me. Can’t be done with Louisa Kate around. Anyways, she all of a sudden puts her hand on her forehead and gets all dramatic and ready to pull a Scarlett O’Hara and she says, “oh dear Mommy. I fink I need to frow up. Oh my.” Well, I know this child and her antics, so I go on with my business as she continues to throw her hand around and sigh and gasp and carry on. Well, I am now starting to get some looks from other shoppers as she continues to say, “Oooooh me. I feew so not well.” So, I give. I take her to the bathroom and she spits. Like a boy into the toilet and then bounces up and says, “oh goodness. I feew so much better, phew.” And, I roll my eyes. Oh the drama.

• She has found her prince. This time, it isn’t Chapman. It is a boy at her school. Well, apparently the other day, she asked him to marry her. And supposedly he said yes. I cannot tell you exactly how the convo went since it was relayed to me by her teachers while they giggled. But I will tell you this. She has not stopped talking about her wedding and when she marries this boy and who will be there. I will give you just a hint of the convo that occurred upon picking her up on Thursday. “Oh mommy. Are you gonna come be at my wedding when I marry dis boy? He is gonna be dere and I am gonna wear my Barbie pincess dwess and I is gonna be so bootiful and all my fwends are gonna be dere and dere will be music and food and we will dance and den I get to kiss my prince.” I know NOTHING about childhood psych, but hope this isn’t a hint that she is nutty. She even asked one of her teachers to build her a “wedding castle” out of legos the other day. Now, everyday when I pick her up in carpool, the teachers bring her out just giggling, and I start to cringe. Oh goodness.

• We went and had a play-date with some friends on Thursday. On the way back (we were in Brandon) there was a wreck on Lakeland and we were stuck on it for 45 minutes. Of course, my ears were RINGING with all the chatter going on and I know I counted at least 4,830 “whys.” Well, it was also raining cats and dogs and of course, don’t you know that she had to go potty. I asked her if she could hold it. “No mommy, I hab to go right now. Ima gone wet my panties.” So, what else do you do when stuck in bumper to bumper with no movement? I had to get her out in the pouring rain to let her tee-tee on the side of the road HOPING that a cop didn’t drive by and if so that she wouldn’t get busted for public urination. Well, did I mention it was raining? Let me just tell you how it unfolded…… “Mommy, I’m getting all wet. Oh my gosh, my goshes (her rain boots) are so wet. Ooooh, can I stomp in dat puwdle ober dere? Mommy, I need to go potty. Are dese peoples (referring to everyone else stuck in traffic) gonna see me? (then in a yelling voice that still has my ears ringing) Peoples, don’t nook at my pribates, otay? Dey are mine! You look da oder way, otay. I mean it. Serouswy. Mommy, do you fink dey heard me?” Just go potty please so that this can all be over with and I can forget it. Well, going back to the car, I see numerous females (thankfully) in cars around me just giggling and smiling. Glad they enjoyed the show as I was soaking wet because guess who dominated the umbrella. I give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don’t count.

• The most recent offense. We ran up to McDade's (the neighborhood grocery) to grab some lettuce for a salad. I had just finished my workout (Jillian Michael’s 30 day Shred…it is the, you should try it if you are looking for something) so I was in my elastic-waisted running shorts. Well, I am in this grocery store at least twice a week. Always, I know all the cashiers, they all know me. So, they all mess with Louisa since she acts shy around them. Gag. Well, tonight was no different. Since I was one of the few customers in there, a few of the cashiers (male) gathered around and were talking to Lou and trying to get her to look at them. You know the shy act, where she hides her face and pretends that she hasn’t been running her mouth the entire time we have been in the store. Well, I was putting my wallet back in my purse and getting my keys when she decided that she was going to hide behind me and peek at them through my legs. Well, this was hilarious for ALL involved…..until the unthinkable happened. The child pantsed me. Yep, grabbed my pants and pulled them straight down. She didn’t intend for this to happen, but she had a hold of my shorts and just happened to get so tickled by the guys working there that she somehow just pulled. Well, since I had both of my hands on various objects in my purse, my cat-like reflexes were not in effect. So, now the cashiers REALLY know me. I mean, are you kidding? And she just laughed hysterically and shouted, “nook Mommy, I see your panties! What is dat on your panties? Are dey pink Mommy?” Oh my gosh….please be quiet for once child so I can just crawl in my hole and cry. Thankfully, I had picked up some adult beverages that might help me later to forget the humiliation that occurred. I mean, I can’t switch grocery stores, well….I could, but don’t want to. Uggggghhhhhh!

Does this just kinda give you an idea into my soap-opera life? It wears me out. I seriously have NO clue how I am going to handle her teenage years. Clueless. But, she is just so dang cute! Good thing, right?

PS - Mom, I already know what you are gonna say. Yes, I understand payback, and I get it. But I wasn't that bad, was I?

Until next time….

Monday, February 1, 2010

Staining my Ears

So, to brighten up everyone’s Monday….I wanted to share just a few excerpts from my convos with Lou today. Or should I say excerpts from Lou’s ramblings today. Mind you, this has all occurred within a few hours. I can honestly say that my ears are stained. Seriously. Sometimes I just want to sit in a room with NO noise, my ears need a break. But, I will stain yours for a few, although I will have to say it isn’t NEAR as cute when it doesn’t come from my blonde chatterbox and her sweet little voice.

“Convo # 1”
This took place when she came in my room this morning to wake me up. Mind you, I am one of those people that simply CANNOT function until I have had my first cup of coffee. Seriously, don’t even think about talking to me because I cannot pull it through enough to answer. Louisa’s words are marked with “L” and mine are with “A,” fancy huh?

L – Mommy, its time to wake up now. Mommy, are you wake? (Poking my eyeballs with her fingers that are wet, why? I don’t know) Mommy, Mommy, wook at me pwease.
A – Lou, just climb up here and lay with me for a bit until I want to wake up okay?
L – Otay Mommy. Oops, its too twricky to get up dere by mysewf. Mommy, can you helps me pwease? Mommy, I need your helps.
A – Okay Lou, but when I put you up here you HAVE to be quiet okay, that means NO noise.
L – Otay Mommy. (Put her up in the bed and she hovers over my face and stares at me and I can feel this even with my eyes closed) Mommy, are you still sweeping? Why Mommy? Do you want to wake up to pway wif me? It’s light owtside; it’s time to get up. (The poking continues, this time in my ears)
A – Louisa, I said quiet. That means keep your mouth closed and your hands to yourself while mommy tries to wake up
L – But Mommy, to wake up you need to hab your eyes open, not cwosed silly. Mommy, why are you trying to wake up? Mommy why aren’t your eyes open? (This time trying to pry my eyes open with her still wet fingers) (Laughing) Mommy, I see your eyes silly. Wake up sweepy head! Why do you want qwiet? Mommy, I see you. It is time to wake up.
A – FINE. I am up. Please stop poking me in my eyes.
L – Why am I poking you in your eyes? Mommy, why are you up? Mommy is it morning time and time to wake up? (Oh my gosh are you even kidding me at this time?)

And so we get up. I go and sit on the couch with her and get her some milk and me some coffee.

L – Mommy, why do you dink your coffee? Can I dink your coffee? Can I have a banana? Are you wake now?
A – Louisa, let me finish my coffee and then I will get you a banana. (Drink one sip)
L – Ooooh, Mommy are you done wif your coffee? Can I have a banana now?
A – Not yet Lou, I will let you know when I am done. Drink you milk and let’s watch some cartoons.
L – Mommy, are you sure you’re not done wif your coffee? Can I hab a sip? What is dat in your coffee? Ummmm, it mells good. Is it hot Mommy? Why you dink your coffee? I dink my chocate milk. Umm, it is so yummy. Is dere chocate in my milk? Why is dere chocate in my milk? Is dere chocate in your coffee? Mommy, are you done wif your coffee so I can hab a banana? (Really, I have still only had 1 sip, and this entire convo has unfolded in that one sip)

This continued on until I just got up and got her a banana. Geeze. Remember the cartoon Jabber Jaws? I live it every day.

“Convo # 2”
I am trying to go tee-tee, for all of you moms out there; you know that even if you shut the door, you don’t get privacy. But, I shut the door anyways and think I have made an escape until….

L – (knocking on door) Mommy, are you in dere? Mommy, are you going potty? Mommy, why is da door shut? Mommy, can I come in dere? Mommy do you hear me? Mommy, are you wistening?
A – Lou, Mommy is going potty. I need my privacy.
L – Mommy, why you need your pribacy? Mommy, can I come in? Mommy, do you have siareah? Mommy, don’t forget to wipe. Mommy, what are you doing in dere?
A – Louisa, I am going potty. Please let me have my privacy. (I hear a chair being moved across the hardwoods and her grunting and then the doorknob moving and the door opens)
L - Hey Mommy. I just had to come in to see if you needed my helps. Mommy, why do you have witches on your pants? (My Halloween pj’s) Mommy, I don’t wike witches. Dey are so mean and ride on brooms and dey scare me. Mommy are you going potty? Mommy, why are you in da bafroom? Mommy, do you need to go potty? I don’t wike dos withces on your pants. Dey scare me. Mommy, why do you have witches on your pants?
A – Lou, I had the door shut for a reason. Do you need to go potty while we are in here?
L – Well, Mommy I had a weason to open da door. I don’t need to go potty. Are you finished Mommy? Did you forget to fwush it? Mommy, do you still hab da witches on your pants? Why Mommy? Mommy, did you fwush it? Mommy, don’t forget to pull up your panties silly.
A – Thanks Lou, I got it. Are you sure you don’t need to go potty?
L – Umm-hmmm. I sure. (We start walking to the den and she starts the potty dance and in desperation starts hollering) I do need to go potty Mommy. Mommy, I need to go potty.
A – Of course you do, why didn’t you tell me that you had to when we were in there?
L – Mommy, I didn’t hab to go den. Geeze. Mommy, I hab to go potty. I need my pribacy, pwease shut da door and don’t look at my pribates. Mommy, do I hab witches on my pants?
A – No Lou, I will shut the door and you go potty.
L – Mommy, why don’t I hab witches on my pants? Did you shut da door Mommy? Mommy, do I has siareah? Mommy, I need to go potty. (All the while on the toilet with me standing outside the door) Mommy, I see you peeking on me. Go way, otay? I got dis.

Although I realize I have only posted 2 of the choice convos from this morning, my fingers are tired of typing them. This goes on in my house. She doesn’t stop talking. The “why” has set in and I cannot even get away with “because I said so.” Because she comes back with “Mommy, why do you say so?” The other day I tried what came suggested from another friend, “because that is the way God made it.” “Well Mommy, why did God make it like dat?” My ears are so stained that it isn’t even funny. We were in Big Lots the other day and of course she ran her mouth the entire time, I just don’t even notice anymore because I can *kinda* tune her out. It doesn’t matter if I answer her or not, she just keeps on going. But, this lady in the check out line patted me on the shoulder and said, “Bless you. I have heard her the entire time I have been in here. I bet she does that all day, I have a girl that is now 20 but talked the same, and she still hasn’t stopped.” Oh yay, some inspiration and encouragement. Yikes. As I tell her oh-so often, “Louisa, it is a darn good thing you are so cute!”

Do your ears hurt yet? If not, you are welcome to come over anytime to experience the chattering. Mandy, I KNOW you know what I mean. :) PS - if you are wondering why she always has on the same thing in pictures, she likes to dress herself. And that usually entails pulling something out of the dirty clothes hamper. This is one of those battles that I let go, unless we are going somewhere. With this child, I have bigger fish to fry!

Until next time…