Thursday, February 11, 2010

Who's That Girl?


Okay, so I just Facebooked (is that even a verb?) about how I honestly think I could have won the award for the biggest troll in the carpool line at St. James this morning, and then I walked by a mirror and was so humiliated that I went out in public that I though I would procrastinate a little sewing this morning to blog about something that many moms face.

Letting yourself go.

I said I would never do it. A very wise pediatrician once (well, every other day) told me “Never say never, and never say always.” Good point Dr. Smith. But, it happens. And it happens to the best of us. Let me just break it down for the last 2 days. Yesterday I had planned a sew-a-thon, when in all actuality I didn’t get to sit down to my machines until noon, but that is beside the point. On sew-a-thon days I tend to let Lou do what she pleases, with limits people….don’t go shaking those fingers. Well, she wanted to stay in her pj’s. I felt there was nothing wrong with this, so I let it go. Then, I ran out of snaps for a project I was about to be working on, so needed to run to the local sewing shop. I told Lou that she could stay in her pj’s if she stayed in the car. This shop is one that I can pull up to the front and be in and out in literally a minute, so once again…no finger shaking. She thought that was “a gweat ideas Mom.” Well, I left the house in what I was wearing. My running shorts (ironically the same ones I was wearing the night I was pantsed at the grocery) and an old sorority t-shirt since I had just finished exercising. Never mind that it was only 30 degrees outside and I had sweaty hair and splotchy face and mascara halfway down my face from the day before. Mistake numero uno. Well, we get to Continental and of course Lou throws an all-out fit to have to come into the store. Since she was wearing footed j’s I told her that I would have to carry her and she was not allowed to play that it was going to be a quick trip. So, we ventured into the store with my child still in her pajamas and me in my sweaty-summer attire. Enter sweet, sweet Murphy’s Law. I see people I know. I run into Tori, but I am not worried about this one….she is a great friend and will still love me anyways and probably understands since she has a little one Lou’s age as well. Then, I run into a customer. And on the way out, I run to Fred’s to grab some much-needed Diet Coke and I run into an old patient of mine. Lovely day. I am feeling so wonderful (I would say 2 feet tall….but I am not much over that on a good day, haha) that I have seen people that I know while I am looking my best. Not to mention I haven’t shaved my exposed, super-white legs in a few weeks. My poor, sweet husband still loves me anyways. So, in the car on the way home I promised myself that I would learn from that experience.

The next day. Today. Louisa’s school has a carpool line which is just about the most fantabulous thing ever. You don’t have to get in and out of the car in the mornings when you drop her off, it is wonderful. Well, this morning….let me just tell you about the site for sore eyes (or site that made sore eyes) that I was. I haven’t showered since Tuesday (I fully plan to go there when I am done blogging since I have to appear in public later today) PLUS I have exercised twice since that shower (lots of grease and sweet and ewwww). So, I decide that if I brush my hair it will look greasier than if I don’t, so I pull it up higher and tighter in my signature pony. Then, I add a sweet little clip to the front to keep my greasy bangs off my face. Then, I upgrade slightly from the flannel plaid pj’s that I am wearing (the same ones the Byron commented last night when I put them on, “wow, those are some attractive pajamas.” Bless my poor, sweet husband) by putting on a pair of sweats that I paint in, leaving on my pajama tap…foregoing the bra since I am only going around the corner and throw a fleece over the top. Throw on my tennis shoes and brush my teeth and get ready to go. As I am sitting in carpool line, I get mortified by my own self. Who is this girl sitting in the driver’s seat of my Remy (my car, if you haven’t noticed I name almost everything that I own)? I am not sure who is this face staring back at me in the rear-view mirror. When did this happen? So, I feel obligated to tell the girl that comes to my car for me to sign Louisa in that I am a troll this morning and obviously am a bit scary looking. She just laughs, but I know what she is thinking. Well, I tell myself I am going to get home and shower and put on makeup and curl my hair, etc. Then the unthinkable occurs (mind you, I am literally a block or two from my house) I see blue lights in my rear-view. Murphy’s Law can pretty much go to you-know-where for me right now. I am not a speeder (in fact, Byron describes my driving as inefficient) so I am not quite sure why I am being pulled over, but am so embarrassed that someone else is going to see me like this. So, I pull over, and I roll down my window and pass on the attempts of trying to smooth my hair over or show cleavage (which is not going to happen since there is no brassiere and I have breast fed before….moms out there, you get my drift) since there is no helping me now. Well, very positive experience which could have gone south. The cop is super nice and asks me if I know that my tag is expired. But WAIT, I know and it isn’t. The sticker is in my purse and I just haven’t put it on my tag yet since it rains every freaking day in this town. I told the cop all this and I honestly think I saw pity in his eyes. He told me that was fine but in order to avoid giving me a ticket, he needed me to put it on my tag that instant. Cringe….so now I must get OUT of the car in my ensemble to affix a silly $600 sticker on my car on Old Canton Road for everyone on their way to work to see. Humiliated. Mortified and feeling like my self esteem is crumbled.

Ironically, I have my own semi-fashion line. One never would’ve guessed, right? Although I may know everything and the kitchen sink about kids fashion….maybe I might need to focus on some adult fashion. I wish I had some extra money that I could spruce up my wardrobe so that I am not wearing the same shirt that I have had for almost 6 years. Or maybe get a spray tan so I am not as scary. Or have my hair cut since it has been quite some time. Do you other mom’s ever get this way? I mean, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but looks like I might need to spend some time on me. For my poor, sweet husband’s sake. Thankfully I love exercise, so I feel good about the actual “me” but looks like the accessories need some help. So, if any of you out there have these moments, I want to post a pic for you to know that you are not alone. Also, I think I need a reminder myself the Murphy is going to get me, and if I look like this….I am just openly inviting him. I spared you all the actual face, I just couldn’t do that.


The mascara is still there, but now it is 2 days old and smeared a bit more. But I will give you a nice shot of the greasy scalp. Excuse the fingerprints on the mirror - we just don't clean those in our house, remember my confessions of a bad housekeeper. :) Off to the shower. I might even get crazy and shave my legs.

Until next time...


8 comments:

The Fab Five said...

OH yes maam... this has angela written all over it. As a matter of fact I went to Wal-mart this morning with sweats and cap on my greasy head and saw a friend from a distance and she kind of peered at me... of course I knew who she was.. she finally got close enough to recognize me and said "I thought I knew who that was" HA! That's how bad I look today.

oh and that first pic of you looks so much like my head on any given day. I think we are sisters ;)

kosekcasa said...

Hey...at least you brushed your teeth! Love it!

kerisullivan said...

Amy- I was all prepared to say "it's not that bad" and "oh, you exaggerate" and then...I saw the flannel top. This from the girl who I thought was so cool in high school for her sewn down pleated skirt. Do your hubby a fav- burn the shirt!! And so as not to seem self-righteous- my husband asked me if I was going to wear a bra with my holey yoga pants to our date this week. Cute.

Russ, Anna, Pepper and Vesper said...

Ha ha ha, as always, I am falling out of my seat!!!! I feel ya girl, what is wrong with us????!!!! I used to spend $150 to get my hair cut and colored every month and now I am doing good to get a blunt trim twice a year and color will probably not happen again until I find greys and that better not be any time soon. I did actually buy myself a new pair of jeans a couple of weeks ago at the Jcrew outlet, but they only cost $12 on sale. If they would have been any more than that, I wouldn't have bought them, LOL! Maybe we need to get together and have a Mommy party and trade clothes (to get some "new to me" clothing) and have someone come over to at least fix our hair a bit, oh and DRINK?????!!!!! Oh wait, who would watch our kids, cause Lord knows our hubbys are never home

Carol said...

WOW! That's all I'm going to say!!! LOL

Callie said...

You MUST write a book! All of these things can't possibly happen! Please give us lou's commentary of your attire...I know there was some!

Russ, Anna, Pepper and Vesper said...

hey, when you get better and have time, LOL, I left an award for you on my blog

Sara said...

you don't know how much guilt you just helped me with. that was blog therapy. you should sell the chance to read that entry. :D