Thursday, May 27, 2010

Bading Soups & Swimmin Poops

Okay, so all the blogs about the sleepless nights recently, kinda have an idea now. Lou’s fragmented sleep is ALWAYS worse when she is sick…and turns out she has had some good old Mycoplasma hanging out with her. I mean, we are a house-full of some sweet, generous hosts. Between Lou and her germs and the dogs and cat and their fleas, I mean…we deserve a good old-fashioned southern hospitality award. Bring it. So, we are now treating Lou with a nice little concoction that brings out the best in most toddlers. Steroids and albuterol…on top of a very, very foul antibiotic. When my child has prednisone on board, it is a ride. Oh a very dramatic one at that…then add to her abnormally hyper-self some albuterol and let’s just say this one gets dangerous. I know you moms out there that have been here know exactly what I mean. When I hear the wheezing, I think to myself…wait, no – that wasn’t wheezing, no prednisone is needed. Whoa. Last night was humorous. She was so wound up she couldn’t sit still. Even more so than usual. And now, she is in her room during her “nap” time singing at the highest decibels I can imagine the theme song to Hannah Montana, that’s my girl. :) "You get da beeeeeeees of bof words, chiwren out with da sto, den you rock out da snow."

Well, so since we have been cooped up and tired and grumpy and grouchy and such, I promised her that if she was feeling better we could put up the swimming pool today and play. We can’t really get out, since it just isn’t good manners to spread the walking pneumonia…but she feels fine and the poor girl needed some exercise. Dr. Smith if you are reading this…trust me, she was good enough to play. And if I end up biting my words at the end of the week, I will totally admit fault. Promise. But, so after a quick run to Target to buy a swimsuit that covers the jiggly that I am so sick and tired of looking at that no matter how many Jillian Michaels I do it just wont leave me (oh, wait…Lou is hosting Mycoplasma, dogs are hosting fleas, and Momma is hosting jiggly…there we go, how sweet am I?). So, instead of letting it get the better of me, I am taking that leap forward and buying a mom bathing suit so that I no longer have to worry about whether or not my once-before 6-pack has turned into a 2-liter and whether or not people are staring at it or being grossed out. So, off to Target. I love that place. Well, luckily I found exactly what I was looking for…but not so lucky am I that my torso is only about 2 inches long. So picture this….my tankini top, the hem falls somewhere along the middle of my quads. What the crap Isaac Mizrahi? I mean, short people wear bathing suits too. Come on. But Mr. Mizrahi, if you read this...I heart you. So, I will be trying my hand at hemming stretchy material…we shall see how well that goes. Word to the wise – steer clear of the sewing room and go ahead and give yourself a protective 100 feet around all sides. I have a feeling the temper may flare.

So, coming home from Target to play in the pool. The pool I bought is one of those that has the inflatable sides, and so I also bought a small hand-pump to go with it. When I showed it to Byron, he said, “Well wont the compressor just work for that?” Oh yeah, duh – of course it will, but I wasn’t thinking and this little hand pump might come in handy so let’s just keep it. Well, I bring it out first because I doubt this pool is going to take too much to fill up. Mistake numero uno. Grande mistake numero uno. Holy moly. I think I can pass on the 30-day shred tonight since I just worked the MESS out of my shoulders, back and arms…and I cannot even tell I put any air in the pool sides. Wow. So, into the garage to lug the humongo and heavy and awkward compressor to the back door. All the while this is going on, mind you that certain toddler that I mentioned that just happens to be hyped up on super meds is saying, repeating, “Mommy, I wanna swim in my pool. Mommy are we gonna swim in my pools? Mommy, are you gonna swim wif me? Mommy, can I have my mermaids in the pool? Mommy are you gonna wear dat new bading soup dress you boughts at Target? Mommy, why isn’t my pool ready yet?” And so on, I think you get the drift. Well, let me just fast forward the clock about an hour and save you all of the four letters, temper tantrums, tears and stomps and kicks and screams that came from this female that cannot figure out how to change the attachments on the air compressor. I have done it before, but this time nothing is working and I am so fed up that I just want to scream. If you look real close at this picture and listen hard, you can probably hear the sailor tongue.

But, even though I haven’t had lunch and Louisa is slowly driving me bananas and I really, really, really need a Diet Coke in a styrofoam cup, I know more than anything I promised her she could play in the pool. So, I go outside with my big-girl panties and I pump the pool with that hand pump. After the first 5 minutes, my body is numb. When I am finished (only pumping the bottom compartment, since the top would just be showing off my muscular skills and I don’t want to make anyone feel bad) I am shaking like I do after a very long, hard run. Holy junk. By this point, I am spent. But, I have Lou dancing all around the deck in her pink tutu bathing suit just about as jolly as good-ole Frosty himself. I mean, she is so stinking excited. But, first things first….gotta lather her up in more SPF since it has already been like 4 hours since I did it this morning. Gotta love those projects that take so much longer than planned!

Next things…fill up the pool. Wait, gross…I forgot to fill it up I have to turn on the spigot. Yikes, this is what I have to walk through to get there. Scary isn’t it? Yes, Axl...welcome to the jungle.

As I walk, I make sure to make as much noise as possible (Louisa is definitely helping me out in the background on this one) and forewarn any creature that is hanging out in this mess that I will cut them if they decide to show themselves. Especially the slithery ones. Then I find a large bunch of this crap.

Ugh. Why, oh why? I think I blogged about my relationship with this in the last post. Get far away from me you fool for we already have one in this house crazy on the steroids, we don’t need to add me to the mix. Capiche?

Oh, and then I see this. I love hydrangeas. So much, and on the same bush blooms a pink one and a purple one…how bout that?

Now, as Louisa has said probably 3,402,284 times in the last 10 minutes “Can I get ins now? Oooohhhhh holy junks Mommy, I am so cited I can stands it” I finally get to tell her yes. And then capture this moment that I just love.

And then this one. Although in this picture she looks as though she is in pain. Maybe it is because the water is only about 50 degrees? But, in all actuality…she is so stinking “cited she can stand it.”

Oh my, and I had to add this one. Poor Ariel and her beautiful red hair that is being used as a Kleenex. Gag-a-roons! PS - next picture down, pay no attention to the heads-down drowing Barbie mermaid in the photo. Tragic.

While I turned my head to go fix us a picnic lunch…my brown boy apparently was “so cited he can stand it” too and had to check out the pool.

And haha…note to self, in bright sunlight – do not set your camera on aperture priority. This will be your end result. Yikes. Makes my eyes hurt!

Okay, I finally have some quiet coming from that firecracker's room. Think I might take advantage to get a list together for our last minute camping trip this weekend. Wahooooo!!! This will be Lou’s first time, unless you count when I was like a week preggo with her. :)

Until the next novel…

6 comments:

Keri Sullivan Ninness said...

can you bring Lou to me while you go camping? I have a pool in my backyard. She'd rather go with me. Ask her. I bet she'll say she 'wansa go with that wady I met at tybees dat day"

Sarah Broadus said...

we r camping this weekend! Its going to be fun!

Nora said...

What a great post to come home and read!!! LOVE IT and I can't wait to meet this girl someday (and see you again) Oh and RIP poor Barbie!

Russ, Anna, Pepper and Vesper said...

I LOVE that you guys are going camping this weekend!!!!! Louisa looks VERY cute in her tutu bathing suit. Glad you didn't murder something over that dang air compressor, hate those things!!!!!!

Penny Ginn said...

Not fair. I'm short too; but most of the tankinis I try on gap and show the lily-white gut roll between the top and bottom!

Have fun camping. Wish I were going too!

kosekcasa said...

Love this post! I kept reading your title and thinking "bading" what is tht word? Too funny!

I think the funniest part to me is that in the middle of all the chaos you take the time to set the camera to manual and capture a beautiful picture of the air compressor...now that's a true blogger!

Love the picture of Lou getting into the pool, and that tutu swim suit is too cute! I wouldn't be able to get kate out of that one.