Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The World According To Lou...


Just wanted to fill you in on the last 30 minutes in our house. Warning, I cannot spell check or edit since Microsoft Word doesn’t speak “Louisa” so the entire document is either underlined in red or green. Sorry.

This all taking place in my sewing room while I have my back to her while I am sewing away. She is on bean bag talking to her self, toys, walls, me, anyone that will listen.

“Ones upon a times, dere was a bootiful pwincess named Ta-Leesa (this is what she calls herself now…we have gone from Neisha, to Weesa to Ta-Leesa). She was da mos bootiful girl dere eber was. (Humble, isn’t she?) Her fabrite fings were pink and purple and she had a prince dat wood let her lib happily eber affer.”

Insert 3 year old attention span….

“Mommy, do you finks dat I am the mos bootiful?” Me responding while I continue to sew a seam, “Of course sweetie.” “Well, you needs to turn arounds an look at mes when you talk to me, otay?” Goodness, I did say you were the most beautiful, let me add most sassy while I am at it.

Carry on then…

“Da pwincess wanted to take her carriage to Target to pick up some new oderant (deodorant) for da ball.” My ears perk up at this point because I am wondering where she is going with this… “When she gets dere she gets a pink Icee and den she goes to wook at da shoes.”

Insert that attention span again…

“Mommy, did you forget dat we needs to look for new shoes when we goes to Target? I fought I was post to get some new running shoes like Ewwa’s. Did you remembers dat?” I nod and say “Mmmhmmmm” only because I have about 8 pins in my mouth as I am trying to pin something together. “MOMMY, talk wif your teef, not like dat. Gosh.” So, I remove the pins from my mouth, remind Miss Sassipants that I am the Mom and she doesn’t talk to me that way and tell her that yes I do remember we are supposed to get her running shoes like Ella’s. “Oh, otay, I wike to get new shoes. Do you wants to go today? I get so cited abouwts shoes. Can I go get dressed? (Yes, we are still in our j’s but it is a sew-a-thon and I don’t have time for things like shower and clothes today) Oh waits…I needs to go potty.”

To the bathroom we go…

“Mommy, I needs my pribacy pwease. I habs to go poopoo.” So, I step out knowing that I cannot go far or get back to sewing since as soon as I sit down to something I will hear the infamous, “Mommy, I’m froos. Come an gets some towwet papers.” Well, I hear it and I go help (since we haven’t yet conquered wiping of the #2 all-by-selfs yet) and I get in there and she has the most distraught look on her face and she says all pitiful-like, “Oh noes, Mommy…I hab da siarreas.” And I tell her it is okay, that it is probably from the white medicine she is on. “Oh well, I don’t likes that white messin, lets just not take it anymores, otay?” And I say “Well, Lou you have to take that since it is an antibiotic and it is going to make you feel better.” Her reply, “Well, whas it called?” I tell her Augmentin and then I see the wheels turning, but she says nothing so we go on about our business.

Back in the sewing room, me at the machines, her in the bean bag with my Blackberry (locked of course) in her hand. I wish I had a picture because I don’t think I can describe it as well, but she is sitting there with her leg crossed over the other, phone up to her ear and play lipstick (nipstick) in the other hand. This is what I hear, pretend talk of course. “Hey Beebee (Phoebe). Watcha doing? Me, oh nuffin…I just sit here and hewps my Mama sews some stuff. Beebee, I gots da siarreahs from my hogmentens. Yeah, it is becaws I hab a bad coughs.”

Attention span again…

“Mommy, can I pwease go and puts on my new pwincess Tinkerbell dress so dat I can pway pwincess and be soo bootiful and den sing songs?” To which I say, “Not right now Lou, how about we go take a break and eat some lunch, and then you can be Tinkerbell after your nap?”

“Oh Mommy, dat is da best ideas eber. Dat wood be a greats idea. You so sweet Mommy, I lubs you.”

And this is why I have a hard time staying upset with her. She just melts me.

Until next time…

8 comments:

The Fab Five said...

I really need to converse with this child. She is a stinker!

Carol said...

OMG I have tears in my eyes! That child is too funny!!

Russ, Anna, Pepper and Vesper said...

Awe that sweet girl!!!!!! All they have to do is say I love you and it is over, LOL

Keri Sullivan Ninness said...

she melts me too!

Sara said...

I couldn't finish it because I was laughing so hard that my eyes were shut out by my cheeks. Wow! Awesome. Eden's headed there very fast. I can see it...

Megan said...

She is so adorable! I love her stories! I have a feeling my little one will be very similar in a year or so. Thank for giving me a good laugh!

Callie said...

Ok so you know how people always say they need "Smell-O-Vision"? I need "Louisa-Vison"! The ONLY thing that could make this post better is to hear {and see} her do all of this! She's hysterical!

Shannon said...

I'm melting too - LOVE IT!