Monday, September 20, 2010

Yardwork and Water Nozzles

Okay, sorry ahead of time...but this post comes with no photos. I did not have the camera handy when these moments occurred, and I am kinda glad on that one mostly because it was getting dark and I would have needed flash and I have somehow become a flash snob. Geeze. Secondly, I got to experience these moments first hand, with my eyes and not through a lens. It is amazing how much you "miss" even though you are right there. I feel that sometime when I have the camera to my eyes I only get a small snapshot (no pun intended here) of what goes on. I don't get to experience the moment wholly. Does that make any sense? So, no photos of the actual occurrences, but I think I might be able to find one that might can make your Monday.

Yesterday afternoon after Louisa woke up from her nap - holy moly, did you just choke upon reading that? Because I almost fell out typing it. Yep, she napped. I think a lot of it was due to her extreme dramatics that occurred since the moment upon wakening. But anyways, she napped. Yay. So, when she got up, I turned off all of my machines and my irons and said, "Let's go play outside with the doggies." Never mind that it was 350 degrees outside and the humidity was about 150%, but it was nice to get out. I sure know that Lucy enjoyed the change of scenery. So, we were outside and I was suddenly hit with a momentary lack of oxygen to the brain and decided I would rake the yard. WHAT? I don't rake. I certainly don't do yard work here (I used to really enjoy it at our home in Macon, but for some reason here this yard just overwhelms me), especially not raking while I am baking in the heat. But, it was one of those jobs (kinda like painting) it was WAY fun for about 10 minutes and then it got not so fun...but you have to finish. I started to look down the street and realize that we were the only yard that was orange thanks to pine straw, granted...we are about the only yard that doesn't have a yard-man as well - but the resident's salary doesn't exactly allow for those bonuses. Louisa of course did not want to help me, but insisted instead on crying and fussing and carrying on the entire time which I am sure made for quite the scene for people doing their afternoon Sunday walks. I am sure they thought as they walked by my house, "Hmmmm, look at those sweet dogs eating pine cones (that will later be varmited on my floors) and rolling in the dirt. Awe, that girl is soaking wet raking her yard...and why is she ignoring that sweet little child that is stomping and throwing a fit in the middle of the yard?" Well, if they were ever parents, they got it. :)

Anyways, the raking finally ended and Byron got home from the hospital in time to help with the rest and blow off the driveway. So, our yard is no longer orange, but brown instead from the grass that needs some rain. And, we can deal with that. I made a threat to my pine trees when I finished last night that I would cut them if they even thought about dropping more needles in the grass, think they listened?

On to the funny parts - you know how a toddler loves nothing more than some water? Well, once I finally sat down I decided to let Lou roll up the hose as she was requesting. I thought this would certainly bring some entertainment and possibly some toddler tantrums that I might find funny at the moment. Well, she decides to play with the water first, and the events that occurred next will certainly not be as funny today as I try to explain them - but I laughed and laughed and laughed so hard when it happened. I still giggle just thinking back to it. So, she grabbed the nozzle to pull the trigger to let the water go - and the water pressure was NOT on her size, nor the fact that the nozzle was pointed directly to her face - but it happened. The water squirted out with force straight into her eyeball. She jumped and stepped back so quick and here I was laughing and falling off the swing. It was hilarious...then, not to be fazed - she turned the nozzle around to not squirt herself in the face but to water the grass and when she pulled the trigger the pressure got the better of her again and I felt like I was watching a scene from the old Steve Martin movie "Roxanne." The hose immediately sent her flying backwards on onto the ground while she continued to struggle with it I laughed again, and almost wet my pants as the hose was squirting the windows, roof, treetops and such. It was hilarious. She finally gained control of the hose and all I heard was, "Ooh geeze, dat was scurry." And that just topped it off. Yay for me in teaching my child my ghetto talk. :) I became a sweet mom at that point and turned the hose down so the pressure wasn't so overwhelming. But honestly my cheeks felt like I had just gone through sorority rush...after all the smiling, they hurt. It was classic.

On another note...I am off to do the dreaded maternity shopping for some clothes that fit. Although I am quite content with my uniform (see previous post) I just cannot seem to wear this to every place that I go. Case in point...getting ready for church yesterday morning. After a shower, I was already sweating and looked down to see that my entire closet had thrown up all over my bed and floor and here I was, crying and defeated as I had popped a few buttons off of pants and a skirt and still was sitting with nothing to wear. I finally found a pair of pants that I managed to squeeze into and button, making a mental note that I really needed to make an effort in finding my nude-colored belly band so that I would be able to breathe the next time I wore these particular pants. As I slowly made myself presentable breathing very small amounts at a time, as I walked into my bathroom to brush my teeth....POP went one of the buttons. Crap. Oh well, it was time to go. I had no more time to cry or try to find something else, so I had to make-do. The whole time I walked to the alter for communion, I thought...please don't bust, please don't bust as I had double-squeezed to make the metal snap-closure work. Later, when I got home I walked back into the bathroom and don't you know my high heel caught that stupid button I had popped just hours earlier and sent my tumbling to the floor. At that point, I had to laugh. Because I just didn't feel like crying again that day. So, off to find some roomier clothing...on about a $50 budget. We shall see how this goes. So, note to public - if you see me out today - I probably wont be the sweet little sugar cube that Dr. Smith always joked about me being. If you see my crying, just let it go. One would be amazed that I have a boy growing in the expanding belly because one would think with the level of my crazy-hormones I would have twin girls (teenagers at that) huddled in there. Whoosh...but it makes it all better when I feel that sweet little thing noodling around in my belly. Ohhhhh, and I will have tow-headed fireball helping me shop. Enough said.

UPDATE: I cannot thank my fabulous friend Phoebe more, as I had forgotten she gave me a box of gold. AKA a box of maternity clothes. Wahoo, that makes my day!!

So, to end this post, I will enlighten you with this little ball of personality and energy that I just cannot seem to stay mad at. She is a nutcase. Where does she get that?

Oh yeah, a quick question for those who yard work. I have always, and I mean always had Kimberly Queen ferns on my porch in urns for as long as I can remember. However, I have been less than attentive to them this summer and gasp have not even Epsom salted them once. Needless to say, they are S.T. Rugglin. So, I am thinking about doing something different in the urns as I feel I won't be wanting to haul them in and out when the belly gets larger and the temps start to drop. Any ideas on what to put in urns that will be easy and pretty?

Until next time...


Sara said...

haha! yea for ghetto talk! We do so many NOT politically correct accents and such around here that I am very afraid my children are going to make me very embarrassed someday...

riflebird said...


If you want, I could make you some wrought iron flora for your urns. All I need is a rough idea of size (diameter & height) as well as a general type of plant you want them to look like. They are guaranteed to withsand cold, heat, drought, flooding & even dog chewing. In fact, most critters won't try to chew on them more than once.

Clint and Jeri Anne said...

Toting around a boy inside my belly made me completely nutso for nine months . . . But he is so chill and Miss Mimi is the bipolar drama queen. What gives? And I'm happy to know someone else allows their toddler to be in somewhat scary situations just for entertainment. Another mom and I watched our 2-yr-olds fight over a play shopping cart (my southern self called it a buggy, which got some strange looks in Chicago) just to see who won. Of course Mimi's petite self still overpowered the other girl and completely knocked her over . . . Funny stuff, I'm ashamed to admit!