Friday, December 10, 2010

Decking The Halls

Fa-La-La-La-La and all that jazz. I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge, but I am just not a holiday decorator. I think I have made mention to this before, but for some reason...I never got that bug from my family. Which some of you may find hard to believe as my Mother and both sisters have boo-koos of decorations for each and every holiday. That gene some how passed me over. Poor middle child...

PS - long blog and I didn't proof-read because I am rebellious like that.

Anyway, what does however happen to me during the holidays is that I get fixated on one certain thing and then I will not be okay unless I do it. Then, this motivation usually gives me the gumption to get up and get on with my business of decking the halls. This year, it was the palm fronds. I blogged about those damned (excuse my language, but I will try and refrain from what I really want to call them) things about two posts ago or so, but I am going to do something that I don't often do. Admit defeat. Screw you palm fronds. I never liked you anyways. Stupid crackers. See, that is about as PG as it comes. The less PG version was texted to my husband the night of the incident.

Anyways, my original palm frond idea quickly became evident that it wouldn't work. But, sometimes (ahem, always) I tend to be stubborn. I was bound and determined to incorporate the fronds into my decor. So, I went googling and found a perfect photo. I thought (of course) "I can SO do that" (I am seriously thinking of renaming the blog after my motto, haha) and as I read on the magazine article said that they used a glue gun to make it all happen. I mean, I can so do that. So, off Byron went to an ENT interview dinner and here I was happy as a clam about to start a new project. Here is the inspiration photo. Courtesy of Coastal Living.

So, I quickly learn that the glue gun (which can honestly be a whole other post in itself...that dern thing is sneaky like a rotary cutter, why does it feel the need to burn the shiz out of my poor, innocent fingers and then leave a string of glue that gets everywhere) will not hold together my fronds. At all. So, I begin to cuss Coastal Living. I mean, who do they think they are anyways?? Can you tell how quickly this all went south? Then my sweet husband suggests drilling all the fronds and then securing them with a bolt. Ahaaa. He is brilliant. So, I take all my fronds into the garage (mind you I am getting sliced and diced by the stupid things the entire time) and get out the drill and find a bolt and a nut and am ready to go. Then, the smallest drill bit starts to split all the fronds that are way too strong to be tied together or even glue gunned. So, the cussing continues. But, I continue as well and am uber-determined at this point. I finally get all the fronds drilled with NO splits and get them all lined up to get a bolt through them all and then wouldn't you know - Murphy stops by. The blasted bolt isn't long enough. Super shizzles. No worries - I go and find a deck screw that is about as long as my arm and stick it through all the fronds and thankfully, oh so thankfully the nut fits on the other end so I secure them all together nice and tight. Mind you, the entire time....you cannot step on the fronds or else they get all broken and un-pretty-like AND I have a belly the size of Santa Claus and the diameter of the fronds is like 4 feet. So, my back is killing me, but when I get it all done I get so excited and I bring it into the living room to hang on the mantle and Murphy stops in again and all the fronds with all of their weight fall all caddy-whompass again - COMPLETELY DEFEATING the hour or so I have just spent with the drill, bleeding fingers and a hurting back. At this moment...I turn from sweet, innocent, sailor-mouth Amy to Clark Griswold and throw the biggest temper tantrum there is. Things are thrown, garland is kicked, fronds are yelled at, I begin to cry, the dogs run with tails tucked the other way, random invisible things are being swatted at in the air, you get the idea...right? At that moment, sweet little Louisa walks in the living room and says, "Mommy, are you habing a meltdown?" To say the least my dear. Well, the fronds are up on the mantle and they are drooping more and more each day and they should as they are seriously in trouble with me but I refuse to let them win and put them back outside where they want to be. So, here they sit...in all their pitiful glory. Shame on them. UPDATE: I cannot look at this picture without dying laughing now, they are AWFUL!!

Anyways, I decide to decorate anyways and I get up the tree and sweet hubby puts the lights on so that we can avoid another visit by Mr. Griswold himself. And as I unwrap the ornaments, I find the ones that mean so much that I have seen year after year after year, and I slowly get the spirit. This one is my fave...followed by some other faves up there.

I mean, you just cannot beat the angel made out of a seashell with some random splatters of glitter. Well, maybe you can. My Mom has one that I made back in the day...it is an angel made out of a toilet paper roll and some pipe cleaners, I laugh just thinking about it. :) Katie...you know you are too. And how about the one where my sweet brown doggie is sitting with Santa? And you know, at the end of it when that sweet little towhead comes down the hall and you see the look on her face as she looks at each and every ornament and the excitement in her eyes - well, it made it all worth it. My heart melted and my hormonal self even teared up. Seeing Christmas through a kid's eyes is probably one of the most amazing things. It even made me almost forget about the palm-frond-incident. Almost.


Yes, do you spy it too? The fronds on the top of the tree? Those were the only cooperative ones. Those shouldn't even be in the same species as the other cantankerous ones. And do you know that this is the first year that my child has had a stocking? Hope she loves it as much as I do. I have been loving some feed sack sewing crafts lately, the photo didn't cooperate as much but since I was so close to the schnizzle-fronds (haha, get it? I crack myself up) I figured it was just bad vibes coming off of them.

I even let Louisa start a project this year. She wanted to make the little beaded candy cane ornaments, and after I scared the phooey out of her about eating the beads, she sat for like an hour making these things. It was precious.

Now the the house is semi-decorated and there are still boxes of decorations laying all over the place and they will probably stay that way until it all needs to come back down and be put away again, I am ready for some new projects. Ooooohhh, which reminds me. I closed shop for brownie-goose Sunday night after finally getting done with all of the fall orders and have been LOVING the free time. Cracker jacks, I never realized how much time I actually spent on BG until I didn't have to, and since I don't have a spring line debuting this year...I really am without a BG care in the world. It is great. Don't take it personally BG, I love you - but it is nice to have some time away. Getting to play with my own crafts and sewing ideas is just about the most fun! Oh, and on my own schedule. Fantabulous. Anyways...these are my next projects.

Isn't that chicken crate just the most wonderful thing you have ever seen? Much to the dismay of my Facebook friends who apparently thing ill of me (hehe) it is not baby's crib. I will show a finished product when that so happens. Oh, and the fabrics...don't you just want to swim in the Joel Dewberry fabulousness that are of course out of print? I sure do - but in the meantime, those are my nursery fabrics mixed in with some of my second fave designer, Amy Butler. Wahoo, baby boy might actually have a nursery in the next week or two. Now, to work on a name.

And just to satisfy you....

Oh, and I know you are all jealous of the psychodelic-kid sheets on the master bed. Lovely right...we may need to ask Santa for some grown-up sheets. Ha.

Until next time...

1 comment:

Russ, Anna, Pepper and Vesper said...

I am DYING at your mantel!!!!! You really tried, WAY harder than I ever would have. Props! Louisa's stocking is precious though!!!!!! I am ready for nursery pics, those fabrics are great. So glad you have more time to have fun now