Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Little White Lies

Let me share a lovely photo of my firecracker with you and see if you notice why I took the photo.

Anyone else see the spot of hair sticking up at the hair that has been freshly cut? Yeah, me too.

I knew it would happen some day. I mean, it is almost like a rite of passage that has to be experienced in growing up. I did it when I was little, I know tons of friends that have kids that have done it - and so I guess I always knew it was just a matter of time. Her mother just so happens to be a seamstress and therefore there are scissors all over the place. BUT, strangely enough - she didn't cut it. Hmmmm. Mysterious, right?

Yesterday we had discussions on lying. Well, as I was already depressed about talking to my 3 year old about not telling the truth (trivial things like putting things away or using soap in the bathroom, etc) I told her this morning that we were going to work on telling the truth and following instructions today. Two things that seem to be the theme lately - or the lack thereof is more like it. So, as I was putting her hair into pig-tails, it struck me as odd that there was a bunch that wouldn't go into the tails, but instead wanted to stand up straight full of static. Mind you, we don't have the best hair in the world in this house. It is baby-fine, full of static and refuses to do anything you ask of it. Therefore, we all (well, with the exception of Byron) wear pony-tails all the time. They are our signatures. Anywhos, I got to look closer and realized that it was not unruly hair, instead a patch that was cut about 2 inches from the scalp. So, I counted to 10, took a deep breath (knowing that it could have been way worse) and paused. Lou picked up on this, and she turned to me and guiltily said, "Nuffing Mommy, why are you quiet?" BUSTED.

So, I asked the obvious, "Lou, did you cut your hair?"

"No mam, I am not post to do that eber."

"Are you lying to me? Remember our talk about telling the truth?"

"I'm not lying. I didn't cut my hair."

So, then I tell her that it is completely obvious that someone has cut it and I need to know who it was. I told her that if she tells me the truth about cutting her hair I will be upset, but I will be more upset if she tells me a story. So, I ask her again, "Lou - did you cut your hair?"

"No, but somebody else dids."

Aha, we are getting somewhere here. So, I ask who did it and with some shuffling of the feet and wandering eyes she says, "Oh, that dern cat Murray." I resist the urge to fall off of my chair in laughter as to how she has referred to her bestie, and try to think of a way to keep a straight face. She must sense my hesitation, because she adds, "I told her not to and dat she would be in troubles, but she did it anyways. She didn't wisten to me." So, I calmly (with the straightest face possible) say, "HOW did Murray cut your hair?"

"Oh, wif her claws Mommy. Silly, dey are so sharks (sharp)."

Oh yes, my declawed cat totally cut my 3 year old's hair with her claws that don't exist. This is getting good. So I remind Louisa that Murray doesn't have claws and she needs to work on telling me what really happened to her hair. She shuffles more, then while wringing her fingers says, "Otay Mommy. It wasn't Murray. It was Mawward and Lucy. Dey chopped it with their paws and den their teefs." I really just want to roll my eyes and be done with it now - but I humor myself and say, "Oh, so the dogs bit your head?" More shuffling, then while batting her eyelashes in an Oscar-worthy moment, "No, dere was no biting. They jes ate it."

"Okay Lou, I don't believe you and am starting to get angry that you wont tell me the truth about who cut your hair, so you need to come clean and tell me."

Big sigh, "Awe, it was someone at schools. I don't remember but I wanted to put some in an enbelope to give to Tucker (her boyfriend)." Okay, now I really want to fall out of the chair. Is my 3 year old already psychotic enough to be giving her 'boyfriend' locks of hair. I start to worry and wonder if I need to really be worried about this, instead - I look at her and say, "No mam. We are not talking about Tucker any more today. If I find out that you gave him your hair in an envelope you will be in big-time trouble, that is not what we do or how we act." To which she says, "Wells, I finks that Tucker is in lub wif Audrey Cate instead anyways." And so I tell her such is life and that maybe we need to start moving on from Tucker. Then I look at her and say, "I am going to ask you one more time, did you cut your hair - was it you?" "No Mommy, I would neber do dat." So, I ask "Are you lying to me?"

And, then the classic answer that I had to leave the room on: "Ummmmmm.....I don't fink so?" while she shrugged her shoulders and batted her eyes.

So - they mystery remains. I don't know who or what for that sake cut her hair, but I think I am already over it all. It could be worse, and with my new rule of the new year, I am letting it be. Enough toddler drama for the day. Just hope I don't jinx myself, it is only 1:30.

Until our next fiasco.


Sara said...

I am so glad Byron put your blog into a book and I hope you and he know that it needs to be a yearly album. They will be treasures for Lou and baby boy to read to their children and grandchildren. This episode is great.

Laura Merrill said...

Hilarious story! Love it! And loves those pants. Are they your pattern or can it be purchased?

Keri Sullivan Ninness said...

um. perfect. simply perfect! (though I am tempted to stop smirking at LK's antics knowing my Kate somehow absorbs them from 4 states away...)

beki said...

ha ha!! um, do you not read my blog? It took over a year for the truth to come out about the first shearing. It wasn't miss scissor happy who did it, but big brother. Of course, she's done it at least a half dozen times since then...

Anonymous said...

it's miss annie from the 4 year olds at st. james' school & i am cracking up about 1) tucker (he's in my class this year) & 2) this hair cuttin thang! it must be in the air... in my class yesterday, while my eyes were for the briefest of seconds looking the other way... a tow head & a silky luxurious black haired girl decided that they should give each other hair cuts. i didn't notice, but when i aksed them to sit down @ the table with me to do an art project, they both said in unison "we didn't cut each other's hair!"!!! I reached over to the little black headed girl & took it in my hand, out came a handful. the tow head had a big chunk about 3" wide missing from the back. i later found a mass of black & white hair stuffed underneath a bookcase. i almost had a nervous breakdown... luckily, for me, the momma's took it suprisingly well. tow head's momma said "so, you're telling me that she's got a future in hairdressing?"

Carol said...

OMG Amy!!! That is too funny!!! Along with scissors keep all razors put away (electric or otherwise) Mikey did a reverse mohawk on his one time with a razor (& he was WAY older than 3!!!)

Carol said...

OMG that is too funny!!! FYI keep razors (electric & regular) far away too! Mikey gave himself a reverse mohawk one time (& he was WAY older than 3!!!!)

Rebecca said...

At least yours didn't give herself a mullet! Its taking forever for her pretty curls to grow back.