Friday, February 11, 2011

Oh Where, Oh Where could she be?

Well...I certainly haven't been birthing a baby. No mam. BBN is still cooking. Remember how I said I was certain he would come early? Well, looks like he is already playing the game of let's prove Momma wrong. Fine with me, honestly....I am cool waiting. Weird, I know. But don't get me wrong...I am SO excited about meeting him and rocking him and holding him and smelling him, but I am just in no hurry. This is SO unlike me. SO not my personality. What gives? No clue - but I am really, really hoping that this is a sign that I am becoming more laid back and will let things go better than I usually do. Especially since things are about to be nutso here. I mean, this child doesn't even have a name!!!! Oh gosh. I also haven't made him ONE thing besides bedding. Shame on me. Who knows. Who knows.

I also haven't been doing much of this

although I should. I am slowly noticing the drop in energy levels, especially around 6 pm when the contractions hit - but other than that...I am 90 to nothing. So odd. I just cannot sit still. This pregnancy could not have been more different from mine with Lou if I tried!

Update on BBN. I was actually schedule for induction yesterday. I didn't tell anyone, mostly because as soon as we scheduled it 2 weeks ago I decided I would cancel it. Hehe. But, I had an appointment on Monday and an ultrasound and although BBN was already 7 lbs 4 oz on Monday, we decided to hold off. Also - despite the nightly contractions and pelvic pain, turns out my cervix is incompetent once again. To spare you from having to hear about my lady parts - let's just say this....I have an appointment on Monday along with a biophysical profile for baby mostly because my amniotic fluid is getting low - and am due on Wednesday. If BBN hasn't graced us with his presence by the end of the day on Wednesday, I will be induced on Thursday. So, I am cool with that. I have nothing against induction, but just thought it would be fun to go into labor on my own. However, with that was funny how I turn into a ninny as soon as the contractions start to get regular and increasing in intensity. I always run to go put my feet up and pray he isn't coming. Hehe. I am so demented in the head. And usually, the slight panic attack makes them go away. :)

However, this is what I am afraid is going to happen. Methinks I will go in on Monday for my BPP, my fluid will be too low for safety and MD will say, do not go home. You are going straight to the hospital in which I will have to page my husband out of the OR and drive myself over to the hospital and hope he gets there in time. Haha. The swelling has also begun and my BP has started to rise, nothing crazy, just over my usual 90/60...but it is getting time.

Other than the nightly contractions and the feeling like he is slowly falling out of my you-know-wheres, I feel good. I have a large belly that is in constant motion and I love it. Soon, that belly will be all jiggly and gross feeling with a belly button the size of my head and I will miss that little booger moving around in there and jabbing my ribs. Here I am at 39 weeks.

Okay - and I am DYING because I didn't notice this while taking pics, but just saw when I uploaded. Check out the firecracker in the background in her skivvies and cowboys. Here she is more clear.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Oh dear me. This child is a disaster. She is all over the place and we have had a time this week. Byron got home on Wednesday night at like 630, but other than has been 10 before he has stepped foot in the door. It is like 2 degrees outside and Lou and I are at each other's throats. She told me last night when I told her to go and put on her pj's and get ready for bed that I needed to "Hold ons Mommy, I'm habing a contraption and jes need to rest right now." She also told me (which makes sense now that I see her in the background of the pics, I wasn't paying total attention at the time) this summer we needed to go to the beach to get her some big shells so that "I can only wear my cowboy boots, my pannies and some shells to cober my big boobies like Ariel." Methinks with a newborn, she just might get her wish as I am picking battles....but the big boobies? Hmmm. Must ask Santa for those.

But seriously, this week...all I have done is yell and scream and put my child in time out. It has been awful. I finally understand the whole, "this will hurt me just as much as it hurts you" spiel. I mean, I get so upset with myself for yelling so much, but then again - when she blatantly does something she KNOWS she isn't supposed to or that I just asked her not to - what else do you do? I have STILL not mastered how to discipline this one. I even checked out a book today at the library on mothering a difficult daughter. I am NOT a how-to book reader, especially on child-rearing, but I just am at a wit's end. And I am trying really, really hard for this transition of having a baby to be easy for her. I by NO means want her to feel back-seat to anything. But, I also want and need her to understand that when BBN comes, she is going to need to behave better and listen better and set a good example. Ugh, I just don't know. I do know that I am tired of yelling at her and being that mom - but I just don't know how to get things through her thick head. I know a LOT has to do with cabin fever and Byron not being home, but I have made it a point each day to spend time doing something fun for her that she picks. And still, as soon as we are done with that....she is back to misbehaving. Ugh. The 3's have been MUCH more difficult for us than the 2's were.

Sorry for that rant. I just needed to get it out. And, I just realized this post is all over the place and really is kinda jumbled. Maybe I need to get back to my fountain Diet Coke that has become a daily craving. That, and maybe the vacuum cleaner since I just thought Murray rubbed up against my leg - but instead it was a ball of fur. Eeks.

Maybe next post will be a baby??? WITH a name???

Let's not hold our breath. :)


Christy said...

There must be something about babies born when ours were. Emmy is a lot like Lou. And my heavens, three has been much much worse than two!! Hang in there. My hope is she will be as strong-willed and independent as a young woman as she is a preschooler. I know then, I will be glad....but in the meantime, it is tough. I completely understand!! You look adorable and I can't wait to see pics of that sweet BBN!

Clint and Jeri Anne said...

I love some cowboy boots and "pannies." Mimi must get the boots. And I was totally not pushing Mack to get here like I was with Mimi. There was much more fear of how it was going to be with two kiddos! But it's fun and you will survive . . . and continue to put Lou in time-out and yell at her . . .

Lindsey said...

i love the pictures of the panties and cowboy boots-clad lou. and even though i cannot fully relate to a 3yr old yet, i have been tested quite a bit this week myself. praying for you and bbn.

Amanda Jones said...

You are so stikin adorable while preggo!
Colby is the same way....He will sometimes do exactly what I say not to do...argggg!
I just ordered Positive Discipline with a preschooler.......I need a little something more than time-out, I need a magic spell or somethig lol!!
I didn't wont to be induced with Chase either....your right, it was way fun to go into labor!

Brad, Amy, and Bes said...

I have been thinking about you... can. not. wait. to hear what y'all name this little booger! I feel ya... 3s? SO much harder than 2s! I can't tell you how many nights I get in bed and tear up because I just want a do over. I want to make the most of every last minute I have with just Bes but man, she makes it tough... Hang in there... I may be writing for some advice in about 6 weeks. Mae's birthday is set for March 25!

kosekcasa said...

I hope you are in the hospital having that little squirt!

Keri Sullivan Ninness said...

oh i can't wait to see BBN but you are the friggin cutest pregnant girl ever so I'll miss the belly. (and I love your cowboy boots- so you!) hurry and have that boy and hurry and move close to meeee!!
xxoo and many prayers for happy birthing and BBN going easy on your 'youknowwheres.'