Friday, March 25, 2011

Louisa...the Fun Never Ends.

So, I left out one of the lessons that I have learned in the last 5 weeks. Here we go. A new baby is like a cat. Or, at least like every cat I have ever had. As soon as I clean out my cat's litter box, she goes in and poopies in it. It NEVER fails. Happens every time. Well, Nash is the same. Minus the litter box, paws and fur. As soon as I change the boy's diaper (the whole time scared in my skivvies that his you-know-what is going to get me again) he poos. Never fails. This will make it very interesting come soon when I start the cloth diapering. I may try to see if I can 'fake him out' somehow. Or, just litter-box train him. :)

And I jinxed myself the other day. Something awful too. I was just thinking that it had been some time since Louisa had done something to make me cringe. Then I realized this is probably because I hardly ever go out in public anymore! But, she paid me back today. Such a sweetheart. Well, let me introduce to you my '3 strikes you are OUT and have lost window-rolling-down privileges' story. She came back in full force. Yay for me.

Let's rewind back a month or two since I know I put it on Facebook, but don't think I blogged it. We were at the bank drive-thru and the sweet guy always gives Lou a sucker. Well, I always roll down the window so she can tell the guy thank you since he is so sweet to do that for her. So, one day when he gave her a purple sucker and I rolled down the window this is what came out instead of a sweet thank-you. I will put all caps to imitate the volume in her voice, as I saw even the people inside the bank look. "I DON'T LIKE THE PURPLE SUCKERS. DEY ARE SOOOO NASTY! I ONLY WANT THE RED SUCKERS PLEASE!" So, poor sweet bank teller who looks like he doesn't have children of his own yet, or at least a Louisa, ducks, fumbles and grabs a red sucker and puts it in the box as quick as he can to give to me. I am mortified and angry and from then on out he only gives her red suckers. And he smirks every time. I think he feels sorry for me. Ha. And you know it, she complains every time because she wants a purple one. One would have thought that was lesson enough about rolling down her window.

Nope. I did it again. Once again, we were at the bank drive-thru. However, we now have a new teller...but Louisa has a reputation so she still only gets the red suckers. :) This guy is even younger and for shizzle doesn't have kids at home. So, I roll down her window so she can tell him thank-you and instead this is what he gets. "Wow, your hair sure looks funny! It makes you look like an alien, hahaha!" Holy shit balls and fire! Really Louisa!!?? This is when you wish the windows had a speed roll-up on them. I turned about 50 shades of red, apologized and couldn't tell if his laughter was real or not...and then I drove away, very quickly and pondered if I could swap banks. I no longer let her say thank you at the bank, I say it for her - but the sweet teller always waves to her and smirks. I think we both have a reputation there now. Lou for her fiery-ness, and I think they just feel sorry for me. Hehe. So, that was strike #2 and yet I still didn't learn my lesson.

Now to today. She had been talking about boobies all morning. I had been on the phone with my fabulous lactation consultant (who Lou calls the 'booby lady') and don't you know I have round 2 of Mastitis. REALLY Murphy!!?? Anyways, boobs had been the talk of the morning. Well, when we were in the car she was telling me that the reason I got strawberry milk from mine is because they were pink, and she is right....they are. She then out of the blue tells me that hers are black and that she gets chocolate milk from hers. I am driving, and honestly half-listening to her (since she talks non-stop in the car) and just saying, 'yes' or 'sure' or 'you're right' and not really paying attention. Well, we are in the Wendys drive-thru and it is beautiful outside so she had asked if I would roll down her window. I obliged as I had forgotten the other incidents and have been living free of 'Louisa incidents' for some time. AND....then it happened. The lady that was handing me my food was African American, and Louisa hung out her window the best she could in her seat and said (are you ready??), "Do you have chocolate milk that comes out of your boobies?" Holy shiznit-no-mam batman!! Are you kidding???? I roll the window up and almost catch her fingers and thankfully, oh so thankfully the lady is also taking orders and doesn't hear her. Strike #3 and she is OUT. No more windows down for Louisa Kate. Wowsers.

And more Louisa...

Remember this post in which the tabby cat cut Louisa's hair? I still have no confession, from Louisa or Murray - but it is hair, and it grew. Well, it seems as though the kitty struck again. This time during nap time. And I say the word 'nap' very loosely. Yesterday during Lou's nap time which was quite noisy despite the child 'sleeping' which she swears up and down she did. Well, she comes down the hallway dressed in clothes from her closet that were on hangers. First time for me to get mad. We have a rule that she can dress herself, but she is not allowed to get things off hangers. It just makes a HUGE mess that quite frankly drives me nutty. So, I was upset about that and asked her why she disobeyed me and got clothes out of her closet. "I didn't Mommy. Murray got them for me!" This is funny, not only because Murray is a cat...but she was asleep on the couch the entire time. I told this to Lou and she said, "Wells, you must not have watched her the whole time becaws she came in my room. She was also the one that made it messy and played in my toys." Crap. I had just cleaned her room, why do I bother? Well, I do. So - I go back to her room and sure enough...everything that I put away that morning was out.

So, I said..."Louisa, Murray didn't mess up your room. You did." "Oh no I didn'ts, I was asleep." Rolling my eyes now and just over it all and I tell her I know she didn't nap and I am upset that she is not telling me the truth and blah, blah, blah. So, I ask her to start cleaning it up and then I look closely at her and see something odd. I ask her to come closer, and she gets a look of "oh shiznit" on her face and walks slowly to me. I ask her to turn around and there it was.

Great. This looks like loads of fun. I ask her how she got the comb stuck in her hair. I am sure you can guess her answer. "I didn'ts Mommy. I was napping." So, then I jokingly said, "Oh yes, how could I forget? It was Murray that did it, right?" And she turned to me with a huge grin and said, "YES Mommy, how did you knows?" Oh my gorsh. This child is a work of art. And I am so sleep-deprived right now I don't even have the energy to fight it. Isn't that awful?

So, in the meantime, I will make sure to keep all eyes on Murray during nap time and keep all windows up. :)

Until next adventure...


7 comments:

Nikki said...

OMG, this is the funniest story EVER! She is hilarious! GREAT STORY and good luck with the hair!

Callie said...

I am literally crying!! I cannot imagine the level of humiliation you felt!

LG said...

That is HYSTERICAL!! I hope you wrote that down in her baby book!! I am using cloth diapers and blog about it if you ever need any tips!

Sarah Broadus said...

Amazing! She never ceases to amaze me! I hope u print this out for her!!!

Jenn said...

Poor Murray!! Getting all caught up in Lou's adventures!!!

breesy*brie said...

OMG. I just came onto your blog and can't stop reading. I think it's funny as all that and I couldn't place why it seemed so familiar to me. Then it dawned on me...I think we have the same kid! :)

kosekcasa said...

I can remember a comb or two stuck in my hair like that! Lou is a trip!

Hope all is going well!