Thursday, September 1, 2011

Save the Drama...


Two days in a row...getting crazy on you.

I am not blogging about doggies and under-arm green beans today, but instead about the dramatics from my 4 year old. This is a topic that is nothing new to this blog, but I just feel this one is blog-worthy.

We have had some behavioral issues over the last week or so. Coincidentally, she just started 5-day a week school as well. I honestly and truly want to believe the 2 are related and she is just tired. I mean, it has to be...right?

Let me just start at the beginning of today's mega-meltdown. It happened when I picked her up from school. I was talking with her teacher and trying to get her book bag off her back to put her in the car. I went to grab a folder from her to help her into the car and she snatched it back and in a very grumpy-whiney voice said, "NO do NOT snatch it from me." I leaned down and told her that she could drop her attitude off on the sidewalk as we were not going to take it home with us. She apparently didn't get that memo...as the attitude sure enough came home with us.

Once I got her in the car I told her that before we went home that I had to drop off books at the library - and just happened to have to drop them off at 2 different libraries (that is a WHOLE other blog in itself) and she melted. In that same grumpy-whiney voice, "NOOOOOOOOO I want to go home right now and I DON'T want to go with you to the library. And you are NOT allowed to return my books. I don't want you to, they are MINE and I neber said you could return them!"

I turned around (as I was at a stop light) and said, "No mam. We are not going to act this way today. We are going to have a good day. This won't take long and we can go back to the library another day to get you more books."

To which she responds, with a humph and crossing her arms over her chest, "Well I saids I don't want to do that."

I ignored that one, honestly because I wasn't even going to go there with her right then. About 5 minutes later I smiled because Nash was so sweetly cooing and babbling in the back seat and I looked in the rear-view mirror only to see he was staring adoringly at her and talking to her. And so I said, "Awe, Lou...look how sweet. Nash missed his Sis and is telling you all about his morning!" And she turns the opposite direction in her car seat from him him and grumbles, "Well I don't feel like talking to him anyways."

Now, this is when I got mad. I mean...you can be grumps-a-lumps to me, but don't you dare be ugly to Nash. So, I pulled the car into a parking lot, turned around and told her that she was in dire need of an attitude adjustment and that when we got home she was not going to watch her Sprout show and that as soon as she got done with her lunch she was going to take a nap. That made her really happy as she, screamed at the top of her lungs,

"I CANNOT STAND HOW YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ME AND YOU DON'T LOVE ME AND YOU ARE ALWAYS BEING SO MEAN TO ME. UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH." And then she proceeded to cry, like really cry the entire rest of the trip. I ignored her until we pulled into the garage and got out of the car.

We go inside and I tell her to go and sit in time-out until I tell her to come out. I fed Nash his lunch and prepared for the talk that we were about to have. I could tell it wouldn't be fun, she was very fragile and going to melt about anything and everything and I was not looking forward to it.

So, I get Nash happy and then go and sit down with Lou and ask her why she is so upset and if something happened to her today at school to make her upset. This is how she responds. And mind you, it is all coming from within sobs.

"Well, I don't fink that you understand that I need to watch the Sprout show so I can grow up and be big. And I can only change my attitude if you let me watch tv and not have to follow the rules. If you weren't so mean to me then maybe I wouldn't have a bad attitude and maybe I wouldn't have to yell at you and make you mad."

So, I responded calmly, "Louisa - watching tv is a privilege for when your behavior has been good. You have not shown me today that you are a big girl. Mommy and Daddy are the grown-ups and we make the rules and you, as the child need to follow them and follow directions. Did something happen today that got you upset?"

Wailing commencing..."Well, you snatched my folder and made me mad and then you gave back my libary books wifout asking me first and then you never play with me and you don't love me and you don't take care of me or care about me."

My heart was breaking at this point because it really does hurt when a 4 year old says things like this to you. And so, I tell her that I love her very much and do a lot for her and am sad that she doesn't understand that I love her. With this response...the Louisa came out.

"I mean, Mommy...if you would jes let me make the rules and have you follow the directions then things would be jes fine. You wouldn't have to yell at me or put me in time out. And the next time you mis-behaved like by not buying me toys or doing things that I ask like letting me watch tv I would put you in time-out and maybe you would then learn your lesson. I fink that if you jes listen to me and let me do what I want then we wont have any problems."

Oh, silly me. I mean, it is all so simple...right? Geesh. This new round of behavior and defiance and cry-fests and guilt-trips is making me wonder where in the crap her hormones are coming from. I mean, she is 4. I remember throwing these sort of fits at like 15 and stuff, but my WORD. Oh wait, I know. They are coming from the milk and eggs and chicken. That's it. Crazy hormones. Kidding here people...

All I know is that I swanny the person years ago that wrote the little tale about the girl with the curl that when she was good, she was very, very good and when she was bad she was horrid had a Louisa.

To end this whole dramafied cry-fest, I put her on my lap and said to her, "Louisa, you know that Mommy loves you very much. You are my Lou-bear and I do everything I can to make you happy and care for you and make sure that you know that I love you and how special you are to me." She looked at me, cocked her head to the side and paused. I thought I was going to get a heart-felt answer here or an 'I love you too' or something...but instead she said, "So does that mean I get to watch tv now?"

And this entire time this hoop-la is going down...sweet baby Nash is just bouncing in his chair and grinning. Bless him...he has no idea.

6 comments:

Jenna said...

Bwhahahahahahahahaha! Pack her bags, she's coming to OKC with me!

Nikki said...

i cant even tell you how many times i've heard those same things from Madison. your right, no matter how aggravated you are at them, it hurts when they tell you that you dont love them and care for them. they say that a defiant child is just strong willed and that it can be a really good thing or a really bad thing. heres to hoping that they are going to run the world one day! oh, and it just melts my heart when Charlee blabbers at her sister too. Madison will say, "can you just tell her to be quiet? she dont even know anything b/c she is just a baby!" what would we do w/o them????

Kosek Landing said...

Oh Amy! That's just too much...

I know you probably already know this...but under all of that attitude is such beautiful language and cognition...but that's just the speech therapist coming out in me!

Keri Sullivan Ninness said...

So what happened was, all little persons with 'Kate' in their name. They got together for a late night meeting last night. They devised a plan to make their mommas pull their baby bangs out one by one. The one whose momma pulled out her baby bangs fastest (or who drank a bottle of old, cheap wine the fastest) won. Gonna go ahead and say I win. And now I will open another bottle just thinking about age 4. Graci.

Mallory and Reid said...

I've found your blog so much fun to read since I've found it; my little girl and Louisa are very close in age and their stories/incidents and attitude/sass are so comparable. Just wanted you to know that this particular post touched my heart and made me smile while analyzing the "you just aren't my best friend anymore!" comment that she made earlier today. While it's so heartbreaking when thinking about it alone, it somehow becomes humorous when you realize that others are experiencing the same situations. Thank you.

Mallory and Reid said...

I've found your blog so much fun to read since I've found it; my little girl and Louisa are very close in age and their stories/incidents and attutude/sass are so comparable. Just wanted you to know that this particular post touched my heart and made me smile while analyzing the "you just aren't my best friend anymore!" comment that my daughter made earlier today. While it's so heartbreaking when thinking about it alone, it somehow becomes humorous when you realize that others are experiencing the same situations. Thank you.