Friday, December 30, 2011

Wally World

For anyone that knows me, you know that I pretty much do anything in my power to stay out of Wal-Mart. I would say I hate the place, but I can hear my parent's mocking voices in my head saying, "Amy, hate is a very strong word." Yes it is, and I hate Wal-Mart.

I go maybe twice a year, if I have to. You can find me in Target maybe 2 or 3 times a week with a smile from ear to ear, but Wal-Mart, ugh. I cannot put my finger on it exactly why I cannot stand the place, but I just cannot.

Anyways, I went today. I was on the other side of town from a Target and I really, really needed an ink cartridge for my printer since I am on the verge of needing to squish an octopus into my printer to get it working again. The last 4 times I have been in Target I have forgotten. Chaps my rear. So, today I go thinking it wont be bad I will grab a cartridge and be in and out.

Did I mention I had both kids with me? I mean, I almost need not mention since they are attached to me 95% of the time. Just walking through the doors made my skin crawl and I was just waiting to find some of the gems that are "The People of Wal-Mart."

Well, as I walked from the store to my car after a purchase of an ink cartridge (that was only $2 cheaper than at Target...those $2 are well worth my sanity) I was reminded of why I don't go to Wal-Mart. Let me share.

The first incident. We are walking down the aisle trying to find the printer section and there is a Spanish-speaking family on the next aisle over with just about the most precious little girl I have ever seen. Well, I immediately started to flirt with her and so did Nash and oh my, I could have eaten her she was so stinking cute. I told the mother how adorable she was and the mom beamed and we were just about to walk away when the father spoke to the mother in Spanish and Louisa perked up and said to him, "Ooooooooooohhh! I didn't know you can speak Dora too!"
And let's carry on to those ink cartridges real quick-like.

The second incident. After I found my cartridge and began my journey back to the check-out lines in the front of the store we walked by a girl that I kid you not had a rainbow in her hair of hair dye. I was actually quite amazed at how vibrant the colors were. And as we walked by I tried to divert Lou's attention but the flashing fuchsia caught this pink-loving girl's eye and she said it. In her non-inside-Louisa voice. "Oooooohhhh MOMMY! Look at that girl! She looks like a My Little Pony!" Que the theme song...

And the third incident. I was almost clear. Standing in the check-out line the lady in front of us had a tattoo on the side of her face that reached all the way into her ear. I eyed it thinking, 'holy smacks I bet that hurt like crap.' I didn't think twice about Louisa since she was busy checking out all the goodies that Wal-Mart so lovingly places in the check out aisles. Phoebe, you KNOW there was one of those stoooopid dolls there. Ugh. Anyways, Nash was all turned around sideways in the buggy looking at the lady in front of us and just grinning and cooing like his sweet self does until Louisa tells him in her whispering voice (which I assure you is not a whisper), "Nash, stop staring! That lady can't help that she has that on her face. You might hurt her feelings!" And while a small part of me wanted to be proud that it was evident that she had listened to me in the past tell her that sometimes people cannot help their appearances, the other part of me wanted to hit the floor. And then that lady turned to me with a look that said, "I will cut you." And while I wanted to inform her that this chicken had a shiv, I instead apologized for my child and made sure there was a large distance between us in the parking lot in case she indeed was packing a shiv.

Now, any of these 3 incidents could have occurred at any store. I get that. But, Wal-Mart has a way of bringing out the worst in me and my children. So, I will steer clear of the Wally World again in the future and instead spend more money at Target. Geesh.

Speaking of hooligan children...

Nash is newly obsessed with pulling himself up on the side of his crib. In fact, right now...during nap time he is in there standing up on the side and screaming since when he stands up he gets all proud and he giggles and loses his paci over the side. So this is nap time number 4 that he has not napped since he is newly obsessed with standing. Oy. But how irresistible are those legs?

I promise there is a Christmas blog coming soon. I asked Santa for a few more hours in the day but apparently I was on the naughty list since I didn't get that. Oh well...

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