Tuesday, April 24, 2012

who stole the cookies?

So, when I got home today from Louisa's gymnastics...I was greeted at the door by Mallard and his infamous "bear face." If you know Mallard, you know this face. And it is NEVER a good sign.

For those not privy to his shenanigans - Mallard has a severe case of PICA. He loves if it is a food item, but does not discriminate. His fave is a trash can. I cannot tell you how many times I've come home and found a trash can over-turned and its contents strewn from one end of the house to the other. I also cannot admit how much I actually paid for our most recent trash can since it was "guaranteed dog proof." And yes, he found his way into that one too.

He has quite the reputation for eating things. Jeans, shoes, rugs, kitchen cabinets, enough pine cones to fill a large tree, a bag of Reese's peanut butter cups (including the bag and foil wrappers), a hairbrush, hot rollers, 2 pizzas waiting for the oven, raw pork chops sitting out to marinate, a chocolate pie INCLUDING the glass dish it was in (that was a lovely vet bill), a roll of masking tape, buttons from my sewing room, a Barbie doll head, a rotisserie chicken carcass, ALL of Murray's catnip toys, etc, etc, etc. This list is just to name a few.

Anyways - back to bear face. When greeted by Mallard's "bear face" you know you are in for a treat. And usually not the good kind. He comes to the door shaking, barely able to move his arms and legs to walk, his ears are flat and almost glued to the side of his head, the very, very, very tippy-top of his tail is wagging JUST a bit while tucked between his back legs. And those eyes. I giggle just thinking about them. I swanny they have tears coming out of them. Pitiful. Like, full-fledged 1-800-pitiful. It is hard not to laugh at him but usually the destruction that is laying behind him will keep the giggles at bay.

So, I walk in the door to the kitchen and see Bear Face. (Did  I mention he has impeccable timing? Like if I am about to wet my pants, or have to do something ASAP or have a screaming baby in my arms) I see no visible signs of destruction so I go ahead and change Nash and put him down for a nap, put Lou in her room for "quiet time" (which is ANYthing but quiet usually) and then go to investigate. I almost trip and fall flat on my face because Bear Face is following so close behind my every step. I mean, gotta love a labrador for their loyalty and eager to please their master. Bless it. I search the usual suspects, the trash can, the bathroom trash can, my sewing room and cannot find anything. Then I feel awful wondering if he maybe had a seizure while I was gone b/c sometimes when he gets upset after a seizure Bear Face comes to visit. Right as I was about to bend down and snuggle with him, I saw it. In the living room.

Yes, looks as though someone got into the pantry and found the Little Debbies. And soon as I see it he runs over and acts all pitiful like, "Okay Mommy, that's it. You caught me, now love me and rub my neck so that I know you still love me!" Well, I cannot find any other sign of the rest of the box and start to panic thinking he ate it all again, just like the chocolate pie and the Reese's cups. I am just about to call sweet, sweet understanding and wonderful Dr. Camp when I just happen to look up and see this.

Partners in crime? I wonder. Lucy was MORTIFIED that she was caught. I mean, LOOK at her face! She still wont look at me. I cannot stop laughing and Mallard is so glad all is right in the world again.

Hooligans. Every single last one of them. As Carol Burnett sang in Annie:

some women are dripping with diamonds, some women are dripping with pearls...
look at me, look at me, look at what i'm dripping with...

 (insert here) HOOOOOOLIGANS!!!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

George of the Jungle

Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails...

Not to mention climbing like monkeys. I had been warned that little boys will be little boys. And it couldn't be more so with sweet baby Nash. Not walking yet, but climbing for sure. As I was making sandwiches for lunch the other day, this is what I found when I turned around.

ON the kitchen table. Cleaning it with napkins none-the-less.

After I recovered from a mild coronary and I realized my camera was right there, I took a picture and then swiftly got him down. However, I forgot to move the small green chair that seems to be the partner in crime (just wait to see all the pics) and this is what I found later that day.

And another bonding moment with Nash and his chair.

Here, he abandoned his accessory chair and instead teamed up with his toy basket.

And then this one...well, it is priceless.

Yes, that is a toothbrush in his mouth. The monkey grabbed his friendly-bad-influence chair, climbed up on the toilet and was brushing his teeth.

When you fall and bust your head open and knock out teeth, does it make a difference if they are clean? Nash apparently believes so.

Lawsy this child. I almost foresee an ER visit and a cast soon. Oh my word. Lou still has a MAJOR fear of anything and everything, and for that I am grateful. This child, however...not so much.

And not to load you with too much testosterone today, how about a little Louisa story.

Today in the car she was telling me about how she and another girl always chase this boy (that is boyfriend to both of them, mind you) around at school. She was telling me that today she kept trying to kiss him but that he kept running away too fast. I said, "Lou...you might want to observe his personal space and respect that he might not want you to kiss him and be up in his face." To which she responds, wait for it...

"Mommy, don't be silly. Of course he wants me to kiss him. Who doesn't? I am Louisa Kate Norris."

Wow. Just wow.

Monday, April 2, 2012

5 big-fat years

I've been in such shock over Louisa turning 5 that I haven't had the chance to blog. Haha. Well, that and a few other things. But really...was this right here REALLY 5 years ago?

When did she become this right here?

Have I been blinking too long? My, oh my.

Well, at least we celebrated her birthday with a bang. As usual, Byron took her birthday week off and we took a short trip down to New Orleans to take her to the zoo, aquarium and insectarium. Honestly, it was the most fun birthday in a looooooong time. I mean, we had a blast. All week long. On her actual birthday, I took her to a salon to have her toes, nails and hair done. I couldn't have gone more up her alley if I tried!

She had all of the girls in the salon giggling as she sat on a huge booster in the hair chair just talking their ears off like she was 15 years old. This girl seriously melts me. And now, I will just bombard you with photos over the last week because it is slowly getting later and I am afraid I will turn into a pumpkin soon.

Baby Nash looooooooooooooves an animal. LOVES them.

We had to take a break at the zoo to eat snow cones and climb trees to improve morale.

You see Morgan ladies...holding her mouth just right.

And at the end of the day, when you find yourself grumpified and on a komodo dragon...you just hope he has eaten recently.

And you know...when in Rome...

This was actually only my second trip ever to New Orleans. Crazy since I have been living only 3 hours from it for almost 5 years now. I really did have a good time. That town is crazy. I could write an entire other blog post about it, but as I said...my pumpkin-turning is upon me. I will say this though, in a weird, weird way...I respect it. As a town. And maybe one day I can get back there with a few more days to enjoy the architecture, the scenery, the history and most importantly...the food. But man, you take a boy to NOLA and look what happens.

Instant wino.

This child is crazy. Methinks he is going to be a sneaky little prankster.

Just what I need. A manipulative, precocious girl and a sneaky blue-eyed irresistible little boy. I cannot stand how much I love the snot out of them but at the same time they drive me absolutely hands-down bat shiz crazy. Off my rocker. Here's hoping we aren't foreshadowing here...

But, if this artistic ability continues...

we just might be in trouble. Haaaaaaaaaaa! Shame on you. They are roses! Where is your mind?

Off to turn into a pumpkin. More later. Lots of stuff going on. House selling, getting ready to pack, getting ready to say goodbye to a place that houses memories of my babies and dear friends, and a whole other journey ahead. Time is out of control flying...